This is love to me

Chapter eleven: The Mandatory Brunch Meeting

The ICarly gang was in too deep. They had been in too deep since the moment that they had arrived in Gotham, but it was only just now occurring to them now how deep the shit that they were in actually was, and how much more there was in store for them for which they had most certainly not bargained.

"You are a stingy one, Oswald." Jerome said as he went rifling through The Penguins refrigerator in search of food. They had all made their way downstairs into Oswalds kitchen. It was a very minimalist setup, but still luxurious. The mostly bare fridge had double doors and was composed of stainless steel. The conpuntertops were made of polished granite, and the cupboards were made of darkly stained wood with wrought iron hinges. Oswald had a decent coffee pot, a blender, and even a tastefully macabre knife block, pure obsidian carved in the shape of a human skull.

"I mean, seriously?" Jerome continued to speak as he held out... "A box of great value Italian style breadsticks? And not even enough breadsticks for all of your guests? are you shitting me?"

"Apologies, Mr. Valeska." Penguin said, wringing his hands "I typically tend to eat out."

Jerome stopped his searching through Oswalds freezer, just long enough to stick his head around the door and fix Oswald with a skeptical sort of a smirk.

"Umm... when I said eat out..." Oswald said as he began to stumble backwards, blanching and smiling nervously "well, I didn't mean it in a, umm, a sexual sense, at all."

"Oswald, old buddy old pal." Jerome said with a chuckle as he returned to rifling through the refrigerator "you don't need to convince me of your lack of a sex life."

Oswald gave a little laugh at Jeromes quip, and tried his very hardest to bite back a bitter and angry response.

"Have you got any hard taco shells and spaghetti?" Jerome enquired as he produced a fruit salad from the fridge and placed it on the counter. Jerome had also found a full bag of bagels and phillidelphia cream cheese spreading.

"Have I any what?" Oswald asked confused

"I saw this guy making spaghetti filled tacos one time." Jerome said as he bagan to raid Oswalds pantry, discovering a can of spam, at which he crinkled his nose, muttered something about Monty Python, and tossed the can out through the closed window. "Perhaps our guests would also like a bottle of red. Retrieve one, will you Oz?"

Spencer meanwhile, stood there pale petrified. Not only had Americas most wanted man just confirmed that he had at some point watched their show, which was both disgusting as well as some how pride invoking, but that also meant that he could potentially recognize any of them, Sam especially since she was performing on camera most frequently. Spencer, Sam and Freddie all exchanged equally nervous glances.

"It was on some Tv show that I used to watch, about four years ago, when I lived in the circus." Jerome said as he took a knee and began to look through the drawers under Oswalds island. This prompted a sigh of relief from Spencer

"Well, I am afraid that we do not happen to have either." Replied Oswald as he retrieved a vintage from his wine rack "I'm not very much of a... tacos with spaghetti type of guy."

"Alrighty then." Jerome said, standing up as he tossed the box of breadsticks across the island to Freddie. "Petey-boy, throw that in the microwave, will ya? Regina, wipe down the big table. You know, the one that you could do an autopsy on? Carl, set the table in question. We'll need settings for six. I'll go and call up some of my associates, Oswald!"

Penguin, who had just been leaving, whirled around to face Jerome and to look him in the eye, alarmed by his abruptly raised voice.

"May I please borrow your cellular phone, my old friend?" Jerome said more quietly, smiling politely and extending a white gloved hand to take it.