Mingyu Shorts

The End

"When did you decide that you had fallen in love with me?"

His voice came out in a raspy whisper, as if the words had to claw their way from the bottom of his throat. For some reason he was nervous about what your response would be. You laid there silently next to him, deep in thought. You'd loved him for so long that pinpointing the exact moment was difficult. As your silence stretched on he spoke again.

"I remember the exact moment that I realised I was in love with you," though it was an intimate topic, neither of you looked at the other.

"I didn't think you were the type to keep up with things like that," you whispered, as if you were scared to wake up the darkness that surrounded you both.

"I'm not," he swallowed thickly, "but when I'm with you, I think I become a different person."

Again you were both silent. You stared up at the ceiling trying to make out the shape and speed of the ceiling fan, as if the words you wanted to say were going to be tucked under each spinning plastic blade.

"We were in the kitchen of your apartment, it had to be like 3AM. You were wearing one of my t-shirts and dancing around to the playlist you'd made for me. I came over because I couldn't sleep. I let myself in and couldn't help but just stand there in the doorway of the kitchen watching you. You looked so carefree and beautiful. I think the scared look on your face when you noticed me will be in my brain forever," he chuckled to himself and a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips, "you were so angry that I scared you, but when I asked what you were doing you got all shy. When I finally convinced you to tell me you said that you were baking cookies for me for our anniversary."

The smile on his face turned sad, "I had forgotten all about our anniversary, but you didn't, you never did. It was such a meaningful thing and I didn't know how to react. I told you immediately that I hadn't remembered and you said that you knew that already and that it was okay because I was there right then and that was all you ever needed. Just for me to be there. No one had ever said anything like that so genuinely to me before and really meant it. I was at a loss for words. Then, boom. Right in that moment I realised that I never wanted to let you go. There in that moment where the only light was from the overhead above your stove and the moon through your window. Your messy hair, the flour you'd managed to get on your face and the shirt, the sleepiness that was so obvious, all of it just made you look so fucking gorgeous. It was all so overwhelming."

Mingyu's chest rose and fell as if he were overwhelmed all over again, the feeling sinking deep into his bones. He was grateful that you weren't cuddled up to him because then you'd be able to hear how aggressively his heart hammered against his chest, as if it were being jump started. He fought the urge to look at you, he knew he'd start crying if he did.

You processed his words silently, letting them wash over your body, wondering why, despite everything, the chills rolled across you from head to toe. Wondering why you still had the ache in your heart.

"I don't think I ever fell in love with you."

You said it so matter-of-factly that you were almost shocked.

"It wasn't something that happened all at once," you clarified cautiously, "As soon as I saw you for the first time, I mean really saw you, I felt like something shifted inside of me. I wasn't in love, I was moving towards love. Nothing was instantaneous. Every time I saw you, every time we spoke, or touched, I moved closer and closer to love. Each time your hand brushed against mine, from when you told me I was the most gorgeous girl you'd ever seen, told me how I was your 'pretty little secret' up to when you finally claimed me as your outwardly... All of that led me down this path of loving you."

You took a deep breath and tried to calm the sadness that was beginning to prickle behind your eyes, "I don't remember the falling, I remember the sinking. The feeling of one day being fully enveloped in my love for you. Thinking about how I would only ever love you more each and every time I looked at you. Being by your side was one of the best things that had ever happened to me."

You sniffled and laughed dryly, "But all good things must come to an end right?"

This time Mingyu was quiet. His heart was shattering and splintering inside his chest, the world was closing in around him and for the first time ever, he couldn't keep it from happening. The darkness of the room seemed to become sentient, wrapping its sharp tendrils around his wordlessly grieving figure. You'd never sounded so final, so fed up.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat quietly, "an end."