I love him

Explode

A.N: hi ik it's been a while and I'm sorry for that. I just haven't had any ideas but with everything going with Ben and Callum at the moment I finally had an idea so hope u enjoy.
This is fully in the p.o.v of Callum

It's been two weeks since my boss asked me to wait let me rephrase forced me... no blackmailed me to help him put my boyfriend's father in jail... Phil Mitchell one of the most ruthless criminals in Walford. It should be easy because he's a criminal right... wrong! So completely wrong. My head has been all over the place sometimes I feel like I'm thinking too much that my head is going to explode into a million tiny pieces. Ben is starting to notice that there is something wrong with me... what do I tell him I can't just go up to the love of my life and be like "oh hey babe I'm okay and did you know that in order to keep you out of prison I have to put your dad in prison!" Imagine how that conversation will go... I hate lying to him... he'll never forgive me... i can't lose him... not now, not ever. I found a place with him. The first time I saw him I knew I didn't have to look anymore... but now all of that could go down the drain... what am I gonna do? Help. My brain keeps pounding and pounding trying to find a way to end this, stop this but it's just an excuse for the inevitable the only way to end this is to put Phil Mitchell behind bars. But that means I could lose Ben. Forever. And I will I be able to handle that? No. Completely and utterly no. If I lose him my life will lose all it's meaning. I'll be miserable because he's the one thing that makes me happy. I'll be lonely because he's the only one that's there for me. I'll go crazy because he's the only one that keeps me sane. And I'll become numb because he's the only that I love. And I'll no longer need anyone because I'll need him only him. My world will fall apart because he is my world. And I love him to bits.