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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞. ─── TROUBLED ABOUT MY SOUL!
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UNDER THE FLEETING BLANKET OF THE WINTER NIGHT, THERE WAS LONELINESS. It sat, lingering in the air, seeping into the cracks of your heart like cool mercury; without the warmth of the sun, it stood amongst the shadows within the darkness. It was a dreadful feeling, that much was certain, that was impossible to be rid of, swallowing any amount of comfort in its path. It was greedy, taking and taking all it could, but it was also patient──slowly poisoning you as it laid on your tongue.
Orion Sinclair did not wish to sound foolish or even dramatic, but sometimes she believed it was her most dependable friend, overshadowing the work of those closest to her. It was an inevitable state of mind, she thought. Filled with overwhelming regret and paralyzing insecurities. It had stuck around since the death of her mother, overstaying its welcome after the funeral. Orion felt many emotions when Sheriff Stilinski informed her father that she'd been killed in a car accident──anger, guilt, and sorrow──all of which diminished after multiple therapy sessions. However, the loneliness that resided in her eyes the first night after her mother's passing never went away.
She tried to fight it, tried her best to not feel any of it anymore, but grief──as she quickly learned manifested in weird and consuming ways. There were days where she rarely felt it. Mornings filled with hope, shining through like the divine sun. Then there were blue nights spent alone in her room as the rest of her house drowned in silence. Orion would sit on her floor surrounded by things her mother never got to know──the spelling bee trophy she won in the eighth grade or the scar on her left hand from a stray cat that she never got to kiss better. Orion would listen to her favorite song, La vie en rose, stare up at the neon moon, and think of her. She'd feel heavy, and tears would build up in her eyes, always falling down her cheeks.
In another life, Orion wouldn't have to combat her own sense of emptiness. She'd be filled with genuine happiness instead of overwhelming anxieties and bleakness.
