Devil Inside (Ben Bruce)

11

Ben's POV:

Later that evening, after the concert, I was going to get Lily wasted for the first time in her life. She's a lightweight, so that shouldn't be hard. Of course, the clouds overhead finally gave way, and a downpour began. We all raced to the bandwagon, arriving inside soaking wet. 

"We'll just have to drink in here, " I concluded. 

"It is what it is, " Lily shrugged. Cam caught sight of something on the floor. 

"What's this? " He asked, picking up the binder. Lily's eyes grew wide as he opened it and started flipping the pages. "Oh, this is really good. These are really good. Did you draw them? " He asked her. 

I looked at Lily, who was twiddling with her thumbs. "Uh... Yeah. " She reached for the binder and put it back with her things. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" 

"It's fine! " Lily snapped, maybe a bit too harshly. "It's fine, " She corrected, more gently this time. 

"What was it? " Danny asked. 

"Drawings, " She answered. "Just drawings. "

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about, " I said. 

"I just.... They're mine. " She looked thoroughly flustered at this point, sitting down at the table. "Can I have something to drink? " She asked, changing the subject. 

Within a few shots, she was fairly buzzed. Lily kept staring into my eyes. I'm not sure if it made me uncomfortable or just questioning. "Ben? " She asked. 

"Yes? " I answered, wondering if she was going to finally ask the question that I'm sure she'd been contemplating this whole time. 

"Is this just fake?" She gestured around us. 

"What do you mean? " I asked. 

"You, the band, answering my letter. It just seems like a lie. " 

I reaches forward and brushed the hair off of her blind eye. I don't know why, but I just found it so beautiful. She quickly raced to cover it again, but I grabbed her wrist. "I want to see it, " I whispered. 

Her wrist dropped as I let it go. She opened her mouth to say something, but all that fell out was a high-pitched squeal. 

Danny laughed too loudly. "I think she just invented a new note! " 

Lily disguised her embarrassment by taking another shot. Straight, no chaser. If she can do that, so can I. And so I did. It burned going down. "Sorry, " She whispered, covering her eyes back up. 

"You don't have any reason to be sorry, " I replied before I knew what I was saying. 

Her eye was teary. "You don't know that. You barely know anything. " 

"Then tell me something I don't know about you. " I kept it as more of an open invitation than a demand. 

"My parents disowned me when I was eighteen, " She answered. 

"Why? " I pushed. 

"Because I'm unholy. "

I chuckled. "So am I, in your parents' conservative eyes. " 

"It's not like you think. I did some things that I shouldn't have." She looked away. 

"And why can't they just forgive you? " 

"Because they're not like that. They just don't give third chances. The first thing was bad enough. The second thing was the last straw. I can't change who I am, and they want me to. " 

"What did you do? " I asked. 

"I had a girlfriend, " She whispered. "And once, they caught us making out in my room. She'd snuck in, but I'd never get to have another night like that. Not after what my parents did to me in front of her. " 

"Oh.... " I looked down. "So then you're a lesbian? " 

"No. I never was. I guess I was always bisexual. But I don't know what I am anymore. I don't care either. I just want to love whoever I fall in love with. " 

"And what was the other thing? " I asked. 

"A séance. For my dog. I missed him so much. I just had to see him once more. " She took another shot. "But enough about me. I want to know about you too. " 

"What do you want to know? " 

"When's your birthday?" She asked. 

"Halloween." 

"Tomorrow?! " She looked appalled. 

"You don't have to do anything for it. It's not a big deal. " 

"Of course it's a big deal! How old will you be? " 

"21." 

"That's the most important birthday! " She insisted, doing another shot. She put her hand to her head. "Whoa." She looked at me. "Ben, I think I might have drank too much, " She confessed before falling onto my shoulder, blacked out. 

I shook her. "You can't pass out yet. " 

She woke up, covering her mouth. "Oh, no. " She ran out on us, right out to the parking lot. I stumbled to follow her. When I caught her outside, she was doubled over, throwing up. 

"Oh, Lily. " I held her hair back.

"Fuck, my head. " She kicked herself. 

"Stop worrying about cursing for-" 

"Ben-" And she threw up again. "Please go. This is so gross. " 

"I'm not leaving you alone like this. You're so drunk. " 

She stood up again. "I think I'm okay now. " After a moment, she decided that she wasn't. She threw up again. Then she stood up. "Now I'm okay. I think I want to go to bed. " 

"You're sure? " I asked. 

She nodded, falling over as she attempted to walk. I put her arm over my shoulder, helping her to walk. Once we were back inside, I led her to my bunk. "Sorry if it's messy, " I began, only to see that she'd already passed out again. I went back out to the kitchenette to get a paper towel to clean her mouth. 

"How come you're acting like this? " Sam asked me. 

"Like what? " I asked. 

"Like the nicest guy on the planet. She wants a bad guy. " 

"And even bad guys have their moments, " I defended. "This doesn't mean anything. I'm just doing what anyone would do. " 

Sam sighed. "Okay, Ben. Do you like her or not? Because if you don't, then you need to tell her. She'll think you're leading her on. But if you do like her, you need to be patient. She's not going to break open immediately. " 

"What are you talking about? " 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. " He took another sip of his drink. "Just figure out what you feel for her. "