[HIATUS]dear wooyoung |woosan & sansang|

f o u r

word count: 1283

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dear wooyoung,

the events of yesterday mock me first thing in the morning, when i wake up.  it seems to keep wanting to remind me that i never was and never will be yours and you won't be mine.

jongho is amazing. i'm happy you guys found each other.  i'm sure you'll stay happy and together for a long time. i begin to think about how happy you guys will be and all the things you guys would do without me.

once i finally snap out of my trance, i realize yeosang isn't next to me anymore and the smell of food roaming through the air.  i lazily get up and trudge downstairs.

i'm greeted with the sight of yeosang wearing an apron and cooking god knows what but it smelled nice.  i sit on a chair at the counter top and watch him.  he doesn't notice until he turns around to place food on the table in front of me.

i watched as he let out a really high pitch scream, which was amusing considering his voice was naturally deep.

"jesus fucking christ, san!", he yelled. "you scared the living shit out of me! what the fuck! why didn't you say you were here already?" i didn't respond, too busy laughing.  this shouldn't have been that funny but i found it fucking hilarious. 

yeosang starting to lightly hit me, saying it was what i deserved for scaring him like that. once everything had calmed down, we went upstairs to brush our teeth and get ready for the day.  once done, we ate breakfast and had small but random conversations about anything and everything.

i finally remembered what i'd been wanting to ask him about since yesterday. i looked at him expectantly and held out my pinky.  he seemed to understand what i meant, sighed and intertwined our pinkies. 

i got up and dragged yeosang with me to the coach.  i went to retrieve a soft blanket from the closet and then settled back down next to yeosang, draping the blanket over the both of us.

"so...", i started, "what happened?" yeosang sighed deeply and looked kind of like he was having war flashbacks or something.

"about four years ago there was this transfer kid that moved to our school two months after school had started. he seemed really scared and was too shy to talk to anyone.  a week had passed and he still hadn't talked to anyone until we were paired up for an assignment for a class. it was really awkward at first but we ended up getting along really well.  he was so precious and i wanted to protect him and keep him all to myself", yeosang sighed, "but i figured that he needed more friends because it would be selfish of me to deprive him from being with people just because i didn't want him to. i introduced him to my friend group and he hit it off really well with one of my friends.  they acted like they've known each other for years even though they've only known each other for a few minutes.  it hurt to see him smile like that because of someone else but i was happy that he was happy. three months go by and they're incredibly close, almost inseparable. yeah so," he takes a breath, "turns out they've been dating for the past month but kept it a secret from all of us.  no one was really surprised though, we figured they might be. i was so heartbroken everything felt numb but again, i was happy as long as he was happy." at this point yeosang was full on crying.

"hey hey hey. don't cry. it's okay." i try to comfort him.  he cries harder and i panic.  i pull him onto my lap and comb his hair with my fingers as he rests his head on my shoulder and finally clams down. "it's fine", he says, lifting his head to look into my eyes. "if all that never happened, i would've never met you." my heart skipped a beat. wait! no it didn't cause i don't like yeosang.  i like you.  what is going on? my feelings are such a mess right now.

i start thinking back to the first time i met yeosang.  he was crying on a bench in the our school's court yard.  at the time, he wouldn't tell me what was wrong and he never has until now. everything seems to make a bit more sense now.

failing to maintain eye contact, i look for a random place in the room to look at instead. "if you don't mind me asking, who were you talking about?", i asked softly, still playing with his hair.  "do you know seonghwa?" he asked, laying his head on my shoulder again. i nodded. "he's been with hongjoong for the past four years and i'm really happy for them.  i hope they invite me to the wedding.", he joked, laughing lightly. 

we stay in that position. yeosang in my lap, legs and arms wrapped around me as one of my hands are around him waist and the other, playing with his hair.  we sit there in comfortable silence, doing absolutely nothing.  i hear soft snores coming from yeosang and smile.

suddenly, the doorbell rings. i try to put yeosang down so that i could get up to open the door but he wouldn't let go.  he wrapped himself around me tighter but was still asleep.  i had no choice but to get up with yeosang still on me.

i open the door and am faced to face with you and jongho.  the look on your face was priceless and jongho just stands there smirking. "are we interrupting something?", he asks, face softening when he notices yeosang sleeping. "no, not really, come in." i was pretty sure my face was flushed at this point.

you guys entered the house and you were still quiet.  it was both confusing and concerning. i ignore it for now and focus of trying to wake up yeosang who was still clinging to me for dear life.  "yeosang, love, you gotta wake up now.  there are guests." he began to stir a bit before finally waking up.

he looked at you and jongho, a confused look on his beautiful ass face.  "when'd you guys get here?", he asks, sleep still evident in his voice, still wrapped around me. jongho cooed and you just looked at him with an unreadable expression.  you quickly snapped out of it.  "we were wondering if you guys wanted to go to the movie with us.", you said enthusiastically. jongho rapidly nodded his head, huge smile on his face.  "yeah! we had so much fun hanging out with you guys last time."

i smiled at the thought of hanging out with them again.  it would be really fun but i know it would hurt watching jongho and you be together.  i mentally cursed myself saying that i shouldn't think so negatively.  i looked down at the half asleep yeosang laying in the crook of my neck. "do you wanna go?", i asked.  i felt him nod. 

"okay so it's settled.  we're going to the movies!", jongho cheered, dancing around.  i smiled at his silliness. seeing as we were already dressed and ready, we put on our shoes and grabbed coats.  in order to do this, yeosang needed to get down. he did but only for a second and then climbed back onto me, resuming his previous position. 

i wasn't surprised.  yeosang had always been incredibly clingy whenever he felt emotionally stressed.  i carried him to your car and we all got in, debating what movie we'd watch.

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oop something's off with woo-