Dirty Girl

Chapter 9

Farm sat there, his feet tapping restlessly. Korn just looked at him curiously. He didn't have much to do with the slender young man. To him, Farm with his boyish looks always reminded him of a high school kid, not someone who belonged in university.

"Well?" he finally asked, "Are you going to talk or am I just going to sit here, watching you shake like a leaf?"

"Sorry," Farm muttered, "I'm a bit nervous."

"No shit," Korn laughed, "Am I scary or something?"

"Ahh, no..." sighing, "What I want to talk about is." Gathering up his courage, Farm blurted out, "How did you know you were gay?"

Korn sat upright in surprise. "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

Miserably, "That's why I'm asking! I'm completely afraid of her. My skin crawls, I shake and I want to throw up every time she touches me. I only feel comfortable when I'm around men. Also, when Yihwa and Fai were talking about how to tell if you fall in love, I realized I've only felt like that around men..." Farm's voice faded off and he was blushing.

Korn was silent, and he studied Farm. "You've never been with anyone before? Never even kissed anyone?"

"Who would I kiss?" He snapped back. "My mom kept me under wraps, I had to go to the furthest university in order to escape her." Sighing, "My house is very proper. Very proper."

Korn knew that laughing at this moment would be a very bad idea. Very bad indeed. He slid over and put his arm around Farm. "It's okay, Farm. I've known since I was 14 for sure. I actually knew I loved Knock earlier, but I didn't know it was possible for two men to love each other that way until I was fourteen." 

He sighed, remembering all those early boyfriends, good and bad. "It's not all roses, either. There's a lot of pain with loving another person, no matter if it's a boy or a girl."

Farm looked up at Korn, "What do you mean?"

"Oh, I had a boyfriend in high school. Knock was here in Bangkok and I was desperately trying to forget him. I thought I loved him. We were together for two years and I caught him cheating. I was devastated. My so called devoted boyfriend told me that gay men were never meant to be faithful. It was destiny to try as many holes as possible."

Korn felt the pain of those words still to this day. "I'd always held fast to the idea that two people were meant to be soul mates, no matter what sex you were. Once you found your mate, that was the end. It was never about endless, nameless sex partners. A revolving door. To find out that's how he saw me, I was crushed."

Korn moved from Farm and looked down at his lap and sighed, "I swore I'd never be with anyone again. For a long, long time, I avoided being near everyone, including Knock. But Knock knew me, even with not seeing me for years. He could tell I was sad, despite the friendly mask. He took me out drinking one night and my defenses caved and I kissed him."

Farm had never heard Korn talk so much, so he stayed silent. He had a feeling that this story needed to be told to someone.

"I've asked Knock over and over, why did he let me kiss him that night when he wasn't gay? He won't tell me. The next morning, Knock beat me up. I felt so guilty for having sex with him that I just stood there and took the beating, but it was Knock that asked me to sleep with him. I only kissed him. He kissed me back and asked me to sleep with him."

Korn looked at the silent Farm, "Farm, if you can tell me why Knock's with me, maybe I can explain to you how to know if you're gay. Go kiss a guy, if you want to fuck him, then you're probably gay. Don't fuck him, just see if you rise to the occasion."

Korn stood up and patted his shoulder. "Good luck."

Farm felt more confused than he did before. Korn and Knock's story was blowing his mind. Why did Korn take the beating from Knock if it wasn't his fault? Why wasn't Knock talking about it? Farm shook his head. There was one thing that made sense, though, he needed to find someone to kiss, a man to kiss...

He stood up and started to walk, aimlessly, with many thoughts on his mind. Suddenly, the world went black... 

Prae was angry as she sent the pictures of her boyfriend talking with Korn to Plern. This wasn't fun anymore. She could tell Farm was clearly upset about something and Korn was only comforting him but those pictures made it appear as something else. Knowing Plern, she was going to twist it into something bad. 

She screamed, as she watched the man all dressed in black, deliberately mowed Farm down with his motorcycle as he walked. She ran as fast as she could to where Farm laid, unmoving on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering, talking about the motorcycle rider. Prae was screaming and crying, calling for help. Why wasn't anyone doing something?

Prae was gasping as she tried to find her phone and dial emergency. Oh god, why wasn't her hands working. Farm was such a nice boy, how could this have happened?

Another student came by and held her phone out, "I've called for an ambulance. Do you know him?" 

Prae nodded, tears running down her face, "His name is Farm."

The student nodded and repeated it into the phone. Kneeling next to Prae, she held her hand and said, "They will be here very soon. Do you want to go with him? The operator said one person could go."

"I'm his girlfriend." Prae gasped out. "I need to call his friends so they can be at the hospital." Prae once again was looking for her phone. The student took her phone and asked, "Who do you need to call, let me help."

Prae named Korn and Yihwa. Those two were the best at letting the others know. This time, if this was Plern behind it, Prae had enough. No more was Prae doing her dirty work. A life was on the line. 

Holding firmly to Farm's hand, Prae started praying to every deity out there. Plern was about to get what she deserved. Even if Prae lost everything, including Farm, Plern was going to pay for hurting Farm.