WOVEN ✓

T A K E - A W A Y

I wrote this book for many reasons and to discuss various issues, one of which is the issue of mental health and suicide in Muslim communities. Often times because suicide is har'am, we tend to dismiss it altogether instead of seeing how, why and when it gets that serious. I know I have only touched the tip of the iceberg, but that slight touch towards addressing the Islamic perspective of mental health and suicide (if it comes to it), was important. And I hope it helped you learn something, understand the depth of it, or even learn how to identify it in others—and how to offer them a non-judgmental ear. 

Mental health is as important as physical health, more so sometimes because it cannot be seen. When our mental health is poor, we will see it effect our everyday activities, and as Muslims, it can potentially effect the quality of our worship. Hence we must work towards improving it and keeping it healthy by consciously caring for it through gaining knowledge about it, engaging in wholesome prayer and worship, and caring for our nervous system through proper diet and adequate sleep.

Perhaps you caught on early, but Hareem has had PTSD from the very first chapter of this book, that's why she may have come off unlikable, irrational, and downright frustrating sometimes. The manifestations of her symptoms are unique to her, but they are generally seen in most PTSD patients and those with depression. The most common, and sometimes most damaging ones being: feelings of worthlessness, mood fluctuations, mistrust and negative thinking, strained relationships because of poor communication, and unhealthy thinking patterns, to name a few.

The reason I'm listing these out is because I want you to know that it is okay to experience them occasionally or once in a blue moon, but if like Hareem you or someone you know displays similar traits over a prolonged period of time, then know that it does not originate from you, it is rooted in something far deeper which needs to be identified and sorted out. These behaviors are not normal. 

While writing Woven I have taken great care to follow along with real life manifestations of PTSD in an attempt to keep it authentic, as well as to not romanticize mental illness. That being said, I'm just a small writer and a human, so of course Woven is full of flaws.

Moving on..I hope you took more from this book than the romance, haha, because having Momin in there wasn't to add a romantic touch to it, it was to show the other side of a mental illness, and how it effects those who live and love the person. Momin's struggles of learning about mental health, keeping his own emotions in check, working on his empathy and communication, all of those represent the difficulties the spouse of someone with a mental illness faces. I tried my best to portray the side which isn't romanticized in media, and to show how two people can start at the same point but end up in different places because of trajectories. I wanted to show that all of us have flaws, and as muminoon we have to work hard every day to better ourselves.

Similarly, another issue I feel strongly about is bullying. Both the bully and the victim are not inherently bad or weak, they have had life experiences that made them the way they are. For the bully, they seek strength in causing fear in others because they themselves are cowards, for the victim, they have been conditioned to think of themselves as weaker than they are, which often prevents them from standing up for themselves.

For a bystander witnessing this, it is our duty to support both. We need to check on the bully and see where their ill behavior stems from. For the victim, we need to support them in a manner suitable for them while also supporting them to seek proper ways to deal with the problem (if even one person had called out Elena's toxic attitude, perhaps Hareem would have found the strength to stand up for herself, and perhaps Elena would have seen the flaws in herself). When we engage in victim-blaming, we are enabling the bully to do more damage—which frankly speaking, should encourage you to critically examine your own self. Are you being true to yourself or are you swaying because of something else?

Last but not least, through this book I wanted to shed light on how mental health is ignored in our South Asian communities, especially in our schools. We bring in and mimic foreign educational systems to keep up with the times but don't give any importance to having guidance counselors, school psychologists and even nurses (yes it is possible that you had a different experience depending on your privilege).

Our older generation may not care about these things, and neither will their opinion change immediately, but one day we will be the older generation, and then we must not get these things wrong. 

If you would like to read more of my writing, please consider reading:

Co-written with __Miss_Fantasy__

With her friends settled in their lives, Rafa is waiting for her happily ever after. Between classes at the masjid and rounds at the hospital, the line of suitors isn't small, but when broody and obedient son Abdur-Rehman keeps appearing before her again and again, perhaps it's a sign that she should give him a chance. Will the feisty, passionate and outgoing Rafa give her heart to Abdur-Rehman, the man who seems to be the exact opposite of her? Can a love grounded on unsteady foundations remain standing in the face of a storm? Will Abdur-Rehman finally stand up for what he wants but Mummy doesn't approve?