A deep ache has settled in my soul
without doubt it will take its toll
the harder I try, the greater I fall
I fear I will eventually lose it all
Progressing forward with emotional baggage wasn't much progress, Hareem realized.
She couldn't make new memories or fully experience a moment if her past haunted her everyday, washing her over with pain; the pain of being used, humiliated and most of all being betrayed, it was all like a fresh wound that bled to the softest touch, driving her crazy with rage and hurt, sending her into a state in which she failed to trust anyone.
She was facing the same sentiments again as she watched Aima walk towards her.
Why had Aima befriended her so quickly? Why was she making the effort to get to know her? Hadn't she already figured out that she was of no use to anyone? What was compelling Aima to be like this?
"Assalamu Allykum, why do you look like you just saw a kitten die?" Aima asked with a hint of a smile as she seated herself next to Hareem on the cold and somewhat wet, red brick bench. Hareem forced a grin.
"Wa'alykum Salaam, I was thinking about something," she told, not elaborating.
"Okay...about what? Maybe I can help decrease some of your worry."
Hareem met Aima's eyes.
"How do you know I'm worried?"
A soft smile curved on Aima's lips. "We have been inseparable for a few days, I noticed some things."
As Hareem searched Aima's face she turned red with shame. How could she be questioning Aima's motives? Aima had been nothing but kind to her so far.
Shame on you Hareem. You could have made upto seventy excuses* but you chose to be suspicious of her.
"I'm sorry," Hareem whispered.
"What for?" Aima wrinkled her nose. "You apologize too much, Hareem," she commented, earning a smile from Hareem as a reply. "Anyway, let's switch to something exciting. How did your weekend go?"
"It went alright," she told, her smile falling as she looked away. Despite how she felt about Aima, she couldn't tell her about the wedding, it was too embarrassing.
"Oh, my weekend was fantastic! I went to get my Walima's jewelry with my to-be-mother in law," Aima excitedly told. "She's honestly so sweet, she bought me frozen yogurt after we ordered the set."
"That's really cool, where did you shop?"
"Oh, I forgot you're new here. We went to Yassir mall which is really famous for its jewelry stores. It's across that war martyrs memorial site." Hareem nodded, running her mind over the places she had seen yet. The mall didn't click. "Don't worry, I'll take you there sometime," Aima assured. She nodded. "By the way, we have a history club meeting tomorrow at about 2:30 pm. You got the text, right?"
YOU ARE READING
WOVEN ✓
SpiritualA tale of love, loss, and new beginnings. Hareem wants to start over, Momin is stuck in the past. Can a newly wedded couple learn to love and accept one another while also dealing with an uncertain future and a haunting past? Trigger warning: ptsd...