You're Not My Sister - Demi Lovato

{18} {fix you}

I heard the constant beeping of a machine.

A slight sting in the vein of my right arm.

I tried to open my eyes but the lights were too bright. I kept trying to open my eyes, adjusting them to the brightness in the room.

All I could see were white walls, four of them.

I was contained within them lay in a bed.

I saw my mom sat on a chair with her eyes closed, asleep.

Demi was sat on the floor asleep too.

My hands were bound to the side of the bed, detaining me.

I tried to break them free, struggling against them, yelping in pain as they dug into my cut up wrists.

My mom began to stir in my fury. She sat up and noticed me awake and scared.

"Hey it's okay, calm down baby, you're safe." she tried to console me but it wasn't helping.

I had to get out of here, fast.

I screamed out, still trying to break my hands free. I kicked my legs back and forth but it wasn't working.

I could feel the wetness from my eyes as I cried out in pain. I was stuck.

A doctor came in, holding his clipboard.

"Ah, you're awake." he said as if I didn't know that.

"LET ME GO." I screamed at him as I continued to kick my legs, aiming them towards him.

"I need you to calm down or we'll have to sedate you again." the doctor told me sternly.

I saw Demi in the corner, now awake and stood up, looking on at the scene in terror.

She had tears in her eyes and her bottom lip was quivering slightly, it hurt me.

My mom came closer and held my face in her hands.

She looked me in the eyes, "please baby you have to calm down, they're trying to help, I promise. you trust me right?"

I nodded in response. She wiped my tears with her thumb and kissed my head.

"We need to come up with a treatment plan."

My mom nodded in agreement but I just stared at the blank wall.

I'm not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

I'm not crazy.

I repeated to myself in my head.

I kept trying to convince myself.

The doctors were saying words like schizophrenia, that meant I was crazy, I am crazy.

The doctors are against you, they want to take you away forever.

The voices were good today, they told me the doctors plan, I had to try to get away.

I wriggled my wrists but the pain was unbearable. I screamed out. "It hurts." I cried to myself.

A new figure was stood by my bed, Demi.

She held my wriggling hand and stilled it. She rubbed her thumb on the back of my hand and leant down to kiss my forehead.

Her lips lingered there for a moment before she pulled back.

Her other hand brushed a piece of hair out of my face and behind my ear. "You have to be strong okay, you have to get better, for me."

I was confused, I'm not staying in here, I'm not sick. What was she going on about?

Then the bombshell came, they told me.

"We are sending you to a rehabilitation centre to seek treatment for schizophrenia and severe depression, among other things."