Touch me [Shigaraki x !Depressed!reader]

Abandon

Another boring week passed of me just laying in bed and healing. Except...

"Hey baby~"

"Shut up, toasty."

"So rude," Dabi sighs.

I looked up at him and studied his features for the billionth time this week. He looks so much like Endeavor...

"So," I smirked. "Blue eyes. Fire Quirk. Daddy issues. Childhood trauma."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Are you Endeavor's secret love child or something?"

He tensed up and glared down at me. Without a word, he pokes my side sharply. A burning pain ran through my body as he jabs the wound.

"Ahh~ you fucker," I moan.

"Mmh, only if you're the one I'm fucking," he winks.

"Go to hell."

"Already there, baby."

I smile and shake my head, then sit up slowly. 

"You're avoiding the question."

"And?"

"That means it's true."

He didn't respond but instead ruffled the hair on top of my head. I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, drinking in his scent. I had always loved the warmth that radiated off his toasty-smelling skin that was softer than silk. I thought of Shigaraki and wondered if I was being unfaithful. Well, I wasn't anything to him. Just a plaything. A toy. I sighed, wondering if Dabi thought of me differently or if he just enjoyed teasing me. Right as I thought that, he grabbed my chin and kissed me gently, staring into my eyes calmly.

"I know what your thinking," he says softly. "I...your different from most girls. I found myself enraptured by you and your sass."

My heart skipped a beat as he leaned closer and kissed my neck. He was gentle and slow as if he were trying not to startle a rabbit. I closed my eyes and sighed in pleasure, tilting my head to let him have more access. He kissed and nibbled, moaning slightly. 

"D-Dabi," I gasped.

"Hmm?"

I shifted around so I could face him then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. He kissed back, arms snaking around my waist. I ran my fingers through his soft, spiky hair. He sighed and pulled me into his chest and laid down, cuddling me close.

*

*

*

"Hey, (Y/n)."

A huge smile spread over my face as a familiar blue-haired villain entered the room slowly, walking unsteadily.

"Tomura! How are you feeling?"

I struggled to my feet and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lightly pushed me away, drawing in a pained breath.

"Oh, sorry."

"(Y/n)...you should leave."

"What do you mean?"

This is unexpected. I was hoping that he'd at least say thank you for saving him. Bitch. And why did he want me to leave? Was it because he got kidnapped because of me? Or was I just in over my head? I should've known. I'll never be good enough. My own parents hated me so why wouldn't he? I mean... I have no talent, I'm not very pretty, I just keep causing trouble, and...Dabi...shit. He doesn't even know about my feelings for Dabi.

"Listen," he sighed. "This...was a mistake."

I expected this, but it hurt more to hear it from him. I could practically hear my heart shatter. Tears brimmed in my eyes, much to my surprise. I didn't think I could even cry anymore.

"You're safer away from me," he continued, refusing to meet my eyes. "I...I really liked you but..." he sighed again and turned away.

I wiped the tears away angrily and stood up.

"I see. Whatever, Shigaraki."

I piled my belongings into a bag and walked out of the door. Dabi ran after me and grabbed my wrist.

"(Y/n), wait."

I turned to him and shook my head. He let go and watched me walk away with a sad, distant look on his face. I just kept walking, not even knowing where I was going. After a while, I found myself at my parent's graves and I fell to my knees, tears streaming from my eyes. Why? What did I do wrong?! Why does everyone always leave me? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! I threw my head back and let out a cry of rage and pain. 

__________________________________________________________________

Crouching low, I pounced on the unexpected victim and ripped their throat out viciously. The money for the assassination was transferred directly into my account. From there, I donate most of it to an organization and keep the rest. It's been about three weeks since I left the League and I've immersed myself in work to try to distract myself from the pain. But it was getting harder to ignore and I was starting to fall back into my previous habits.

"I...I don't even want to live anymore," I admitted to the corpse as I shoveled dirt over it. "I mean, what's even the point anymore? No one's ever gonna love me anyway."

I finished burying them and threw a few flowers there for added aesthetic. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I roam the streets hoping I don't run into any heroes. Once, I nearly came close to All Might, of all people, who was sliding through the alley on his way to do hell knows what. But mostly I'm alone. Like usual. I never heard from Shigaraki or Dabi again and half wished that I would. It was suffocating, the pain of leaving them. I had thought that Shigaraki was different...Dabi was great and all but I couldn't see myself being anything more than friends. I regret getting close in the first place. Why did I anyways? I should've known they'd be no different. It'll never be different....