What Deceit Looks Like | ✓

34: cassidy

"Cass?"

Dean's knocking on my door again. If I pretend to be asleep then maybe he'll continue to leave me alone.

"You haven't left your bedroom in three days for anything other than the bathroom and food. I'm worried about you."

I hold in my scoff, there's nothing to be worried about. I'm fine.

"I know you're awake so open the damn door." He threatens and I roll back over, knowing that Dean is all talk and no action. That's why it took him months to talk to his dad about not wanting to join the family business. "You have ten seconds to open the door, or I'm going to call Maddox and tell him how you've been moping around."

He wouldn't. There's no way.

Dean slowly starts to count down, "Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Thre-" He's cut off by me getting up to open the door.

"What do you want?" I ask a little harsher than I probably should have.

He doesn't even have his phone in his hand so I was right that he wouldn't call Maddox. "I just want to make sure you're okay. I know there's a lot going on, but that's no excuse for staying locked in your room all the time."

I roll my eyes, "You're being dramatic. I'm perfectly fine."

"Sure you are." The amusement is clear in his voice and I go to shut the door again, but Dean puts a hand on the door to hold it in place, "It's okay to not be okay. This is something that no one ever saw happening."

"Really? I kept Maddox far away from my heart because I knew that something was going to go wrong. He convinced me that I could trust him. I believed him when he said there was no shoe that was going to drop. I'm a fucking idiot because things don't go right for someone like me." I snap at him, blinking rapidly to hold the tears back in.

His face is a mixture of pity and shock, "You don't really believe that."

I turn away from him to get back into the blankets, "Believe whatever the hell you want Dean, the fact is that nothing goes wrong in your life." A few tears slide their way down my cheeks as I stare angrily out the window.

"I've been trying to cut you slack because I have no idea what you're going through right now, but you're acting like a child. If you really want Maddox then fight to keep him, or move on with your life. Ignoring and lashing out at the people that care about you isn't going to get you very far. You're far from fine," He warns before shutting the door behind him.

I pull the blankets close to my chest as I let my tears loose. I'm just so angry. Still, I never should have told Dean that nothing goes wrong in his life. I'm sure he'd much rather be there with Paige and her family. After all, they were close.

I have no idea what I'm doing, but neither does Maddox. I want to fight for Maddox more than anything, but it's been three days since Paige has come back. He hasn't called once and I think that sends a pretty big message. I almost broke yesterday and called him, but I stopped myself before I could go through with it.

Then this morning there were photographs released of Maddox and Paige getting in a car together. Another of them shopping with Charlie. I stopped looking at them when I saw the way he looked at her.

Part of me always guessed that Maddox could never love me the way he loved her, and the pictures are proof that I was right.

What makes it worse is I can't even try to dislike her because I have no idea what she went through. She was held captive for years. If anyone should get their happy ending, it should be Paige. There's not even a question. It could be stupid reasoning on my part, but she needs him a whole lot more than I need him.

I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

I blow my nose into another tissue, adding it to the overflowing trashcan next to my bed. After changing into a more decent outfit, I prepare myself to apologize to Dean. I'm not angry at him. I'm not angry at Maddox. I'm angry at myself for thinking this would ever work.

I open the door and take a few steps out. "Dean? I'm sorry for what I said. Just because I'm upset doesn't give me the right to take it out on you." I glance at his bedroom to see its empty, and then going further down the hall to see that no one is here.

Since I'm up and about, I might as well get some things done. I grab the cleaning supplies from under the kitchen sink and start to try make everything as clean as possible. I scrub every inch of the kitchen almost as if it was erasing Maddox from my life.

Unfortunately, nothing's that easy.

There's a knock on the front door and for a second-just a second I let my hopes rise that it's Maddox. Instead, it was the last person I ever expected to see: Charlie.

She smiles hesitantly, "Hey Cassidy. I didn't know if you were home, but I wanted to talk about... things."

My jaw just about hits the floor. "Um, come on in?"

I hold the door open for her and she walks in quickly. "I'm sorry to just drop in like this. I got your address from Maddox's phone and-that doesn't matter. I should have called or texted first."

"Don't worry about it. We can sit and chat in the living room?" I want to cringe after hearing myself say this. She's clearly here about Maddox and Paige, but I don't know why she would even want to talk to me. Charlie made herself quite clear about how she felt towards my relationship with Maddox.

Charlie folds her hands over her lap, "First of all, I want to apologize for the way things happened in Boston. I never should have acted the way I did towards you. I don't have an issue with you, it was harder than I thought to see Maddox happy with someone other than Paige."

"I don't think you have to worry about that," I say softly, wanting to take it back as soon as I see the look on her face. "You really don't need to apologize. I get it."

Her face is pained, "I do though. I'm not proud of it, but he's a part of my family. I really did think I was looking out for him, except I never took into account the way Maddox feels for you. I'm really sorry."

It takes everything in me not to correct her to past tense. It's past tense, or maybe it wasn't love at all. Maddox seems to have forgotten about me rather quickly.

"I appreciate the apology."

"A-And I want to ask you for a favor." Her nervousness is clear on her face. This side of her isn't something I expected after Boston. I nod, motioning for her to continue and Charlie's eyes drop to her hands. "I know that you love him, but he loves both of you. Maddox can't have both and Paige needs him. He's the only person she acts anything remotely like her old self around, and I just got her back. I can't sit by and watch her be a shell of who she was."

Charlie wants me to leave Maddox. "What exactly are you asking me to do?"

"I need you to let him go for her sake. I know it's not fair of me to ask after the way I reacted towards you, but I'll give you anything. If he reaches out, please ignore him. Maddox will want to do the right thing, but I don't think he can make a decision. He would never ever want to hurt you."

Except he already has. "I'll stay away. It shouldn't be hard, seeing as it's already been made clear what his decision is. I need you to give him this from me though, and I promise you'll never see me again."

I leave her on the couch stunned to grab the key he gave me days ago. It promises a life that isn't mine. I was never meant to have this. Dean's right, I have been acting like a child. I hand the key to her silently before I change my mind, and Charlie's eyes fill with unshed tears as she fully comprehends what she's asking of me.

"I'll never be able to thank you enough for this. You're doing the right thing."

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing.

It's the last thing said before she leaves. I resume my cleaning in the kitchen, wiping up my tears after they hit the tile on the floor.

I'm a con artist. It's what I do best. Living a lie by pretending that Maddox no longer means anything to me.

This is what deceit looks like.