Not edited sorry, but I'm not sorry for that pun.... yes I am.....
When life gives you lemons, they say, make lemonade they say," I made wild hand gestures that made no sense while I continuously adventured through the glaciers.
"Well I don't see any freakin lemonade and I'm sweating buckets!" I screamed at the presumably sky as I complained, still, not that I will admit it, grouchy about the idea of no food. Oh yeah did I mention!?
Global warming, I can now say with complete certainty is a thing because right now I am "FEELING THE WRATH OF TEXAS!!!" I exclaim.
" Wasn't there something important I was supposed to be worrying about?" I found myself muttering.
*Ding* The sound, similar to one of getting a text message popped up right after the question came from my mouth. Whether this meant something or not was unknown. 'I swear to freaking everything that is holy' I started to think until the sentence registered and I found myself announcing out loud, "cough cough coffee," no doubt confusing someone if they were watching, '...what was I thinking again...?'
"OUCH WHERE THE HECK DID THIS FREAKING, MUDDER FRUITCAKE CACUTS COME FROM?!" I exclaimed noticing the cactus my foot somehow stepped on that was peeking out from the ice. "What the heck?" I found myself asking myself quietly as I stared at the natural phenomenon that was most likely not real..... 'Wait what? Where am I?'
I was quickly getting frustrated with how crazy and insecure I was starting to feel about this situation.... and my foot. Then metaphorically thing time a ding was heard in my head as I attempted to scavenge the cactus' juice stuff to eat, attempting to ignore my possible future insanity already developing, newfound even worse memory and attention span, and the fact that the pain registered but did not wake me up.
" I DoN't CaRe If ThIs IsN'T sAFe I NeEd FOOD!!!!!!!!!" The crazy exclamation did nothing but further lead to the question, 'Is this what the hunger games felt like? OMG IMMA BE CATNISSSSSSSSSSSS' The thought exited me but did nothing to help my failure in getting the cactus juice and the cactus itself free enough for food.
A tear slipped from my eye at the revelation, " Why must this world torture me so?" I asked the clouds in the sky as I looked up.
YOU ARE READING
Down the Rabbit Hole and Not In Kansas
Short StoryAs a young sarcastic woman takes on challenges which are used to test her mental stability, progress, and the human mind she encounters sabotage attempts by a young man who is using her as a way to get his obvious girlfriend from taking the governme...
