𝚘𝚋𝚡 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜

the pogues ; understand

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM, SUICIDE & RAPE

PLEASE DONT GO ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THESE THINGS. THIS WILL BE A SAD AND DETAILED CHAPTER. PLEASE, REACH OUT IF YOU ARE SUFFERING. MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

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warning again, proceed with caution.

"where's kie?" i asked the boys once i got on the boat. they all shrugged, explaining they had gone to the wreck but she wasn't there.

"that's unlike kie." i furrowed my eyebrows.

"maybe we should go to her house?" pope agreed with me.

"nah-" john b began.

"no, somethings up, we need to go to her house." my face was serious this time, i had this odd feeling. john b turned the boat around and headed to kiara's house. jj docked the boat and we went up to her door. while the boys checked if there were cars in the driveway, i knocked. with no answer, i went to the boys.

"no ones home, let's just go." one of them huffed.

"no, there's something wrong. i can tell, she's in there."

"kie!" i heard jj yell through the door.

"guys this way!" pope pointed at an open window.

i climbed in first jj, pope and john b following.

"i've never been in such a nice house before." i heard jj whisper. when i heard a cry from upstairs, it was extremely quiet but i heard it. i ran up to the noise, leaving the boys in confusion, they followed though.

"wait here." i told them before going into kie's room. i tried to open the bathroom, where the noise came from but it was locked.

"KIE! ARE YOU IN THERE?" i tried to open the door. the boys came inside and helped, the lock finally broke, revealing kiara leaning against her bathtub with blood staining her mats. she looked up at us, looking at the boys in fear. i sat next to her, while the boys just stared in shock.

"let's go get a first aid kit." pope pushed the boys out the door.

"kiara- what happened?"

"he-he raped me."

when the words came out of her mouth i felt my whole body drop, who? when? where? why? i thought.

"are you comfortable telling me more?"

she nodded, "please don't tell the guys."

i understood, "do you want them to leave?"

"please. i just want you."

i stood up and went to find the boys, i grabbed the first aid kid from jj's hands.

"can you guys leave? sorry."

"no no, we get it. girl stuff." john b grinned.

i thanked them and went back to the bathroom. i closed the door and asked kiara where the blood was coming from. she pulled out her arm, cuts covering her arm bleeding out.

"i was going to do it. i was scared you guys didn't care." she sobbed.

"no no we all love you more than anything kie. i understand that self harm may of seemed like the only option but i promise it isn't. we're here for you."

i cleaned her cuts and bandaged them while she cried into my shoulder, telling me had what happened that night. it was some random touron, and they had spiked her drink. it had been a kook party and kiara was in a bad state of mind, so didn't invite the pogues. she felt awful so she drank the pain away.

"i'm sorry y/n. i really am. i'm such an awful friend, person."

"kiara carrera you are not. you're the most amazing, perfect, gorgeous, well rounded girl ever. all of the pogues love you so much, and even if your mind tells you that, we still do. we always will."

-mental health is a difficult thing to write about, as someone who struggles with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and self harm i hope i was able to represent some of these thoughts and feelings well. my dms are always open if you need help, and here is an world health organisation link on mental health if you want to learn more and educate yourself: https://www.who.int/health-topics/mental-health#tab=tab_1