The Idiots Of UA (BNHA Chatfic)

The chaos in the teacher's lounge

Aizawa: HIZASHI WHERE THE FUCK IS MY COFFEE

PresentMic: Shota please stop drinking coffee, you need sleep

Aizawa: W H E R E.    I S.    M Y.     C O F F E E

Nezu: Get some sleep, Aizawa. You need it.

AllMight: sleep p l e a s e

Nezu: when did you change your name?

AllMight: i fucked with the void

Nezu: don't you usually have a space between All and Might?

AllMight: yeah but the writer's autocorrect is genuinely retarded. It keeps on autocorrecting Might to Night and hes had enough of it, so he resorted to putting no spaces between my name

(A/N its actually keeps on doing that, fuck you autocorrect)

Aizawa: whos sleep? dont know em

Nezu: Yamada please negative Hz your husband

PresentMic: id rather shoot myself with overhaul's bullets

Nezu: Yagi?

AllMight: im at the midoriya residence rn

Ectoplasm: speaking of negative hz, has toshinori actually gotten so angry to the point he'll kill anyone you needed to tranquilize him?

Nezu: no you see, his quirk generates excess lightning while he's experiencing intense emotions and we were at risk of being electrocuted

Nezu: our cameras saw midoriya doing the same but on a smaller scale plus he already had lightning around his body so it just intensified

Aizawa: no shit, they have the same quirk

Nezu: right, I forgot that midoriya is yagi's successor

Snipe: did someone say bullets?

Ectoplasm: yeah, yamada would rather shoot himself with overhaul's quirk delete bullets over knocking aizawa out cold with his quirk

Snipe: I forget how yamada's quirk defies the laws of physics

Midnight: so I heard Aizawa wanted coffee?

Aizawa: where the fuck is it nemuri

PresentMic: tell him where it is and I will not hesitate to commit murder.

Midnight: why do you want coffee anyway?

Aizawa: hizashi went really fucking hard on me and now my entire body aches, especially my ass so I have to put more effort into walking and other actions

Aizawa: the students questioned why I was moving so slowly and I told them I had a cramp

Midnight: since this happened right before their test I can only assume one of them told yamada to make sure you can't walk at all

Ectoplasm: I bet 50$ it was Bakugou, hes the rough violent type

Snipe: 100$ on Mina, she's a matchmaker and often does this sort of shit.

Lunch Rush: 1$ on Midoriya.

Midnight: He's too innocent for that

RecoveryGirl: 200$ on Mina.

AllMight: 50$ on Kirishima.

Midnight: that makes the total $401

Aizawa: Im gonna ask the kids

1-A chat

Aizawa: who told Hizashi to go hard on me

Aizawa: i know you kids know.

Izuku: maybe we do, maybe we don't

IcyHot: we all know who let present mic drill you so hard you could barely move

Aizawa: tell me who said it.

Izuku: id rather not, they're scary when mad

Bakugou: figure it out yourself

Aizawa: midoriya ill buy you any AM merch you want if you tell me who told hizashi

Izuku: IT WAS MINA

Mina: shit i should have known aizawa would try that.

Aizawa: where is she.

Mina: YOU'LL NEVER FIND MSOZINAOAKA

Bakugou: and there she goes....

IcyHot: RIP in peace Ashido Mina

Teachers chat

Aizawa: it was mina

Ectoplasm: MOTHERFUCKER

AllMight: SHIT

Lunch Rush: this is why I made sure to bet a single dollar on midoriya, I know he wouldn't do that