Figure It Out [Rihanna/You]

PT.3 C H A P T E R FIVE

Tick... Tick... Tick..

There was no clock in the room but I could imagine the sound of it in my head. That's how quiet we both were.

"Can I be honest?" I looked over at her but her gaze stayed fixated on the ceiling. "I've never.. that was like.." she paused, eyebrows furrowing and head shaking as if she couldn't find the words to express whatever it is she wanted to say.

"What?" I mumbled and looked up at the cream colored walls.

"That shit was a journey." What? I looked back at her and she finally looked at me. "I've never been fucked like that before." I snorted and glanced away from her again. "I'm serious." She rolled over and propped her elbow on the bed, the side of her head resting on her palm. I felt her eyes roaming my face before speaking up again. "I think I may be in love with you."

I closed my eyes and sighed lightly. "Don't say that." I ran a hand down my face and groaned deeply. "This is so bad.. this is terrible."

Did I feel guilty? Yes. I just cheated. But.. I didn't feel hallow. I know cheating is never the right thing to do but why did it feel so right? Why did I feel warmth in my chest again? Something I hadn't felt for over a month.

I felt happy..

"I know." I reopened my eyes as she rested her hand on my chest, her brown orbs taking me in calmly. "I do feel bad but I can't lie and say I don't feel good too. I don't know. It's confusing." I nodded in agreement, tell me about it. "We have to be back on the bus tonight.."

"I forgot about tour for a second." I sat up slightly and ran a hand through my hair. "Where we going?"

"San Francisco." She smiled. "Bay areaaa."

"Right, how could I forget." Leaning forward, I stretched with a deep groan before raising back up when I felt her slid behind me. My eyes fell closed for a moment as her nipples brushed against my back while she pressed her warm lips to my neck. "I gotta go." I mumbled.

She nodded, arms sliding around my waist."I know." She whispered.. then dipped her hands under the covers.

I sighed contently under my breath when her fingers wrapped around me, stroking until I was hard again.

What was I doing man?

I flipped over and pressed her down with my chest before connecting our lips.. again. "I have to go, Di." I said for the second time, hoping she'd push me away because it felt like all my will had been wiped out.

She cupped my face and stared up at me with twice as much of a need as I had. "So go." She breathed out, simultaneously pulling me closer.

I couldn't.

So I didn't.

I kissed my way down her body, taking my time this time around. The first was.. rushed, hasty as if we knew time wasn't on our side. I already fucked up.. might as well take my damn time.

-

"You want something to eat?" I raised my eyebrows and looked over at her as I pulled up my jeans. "I can order something?"

"Um.. I'm okay." I looked down with a smile, fasting my belt. "Thank you though." I could hear her talking to room service as I slid into my shoes, a million and one thoughts flying through my brain.

I was unfaithful. But I enjoyed myself? I felt sick but also floaty. I wasn't stressed.. but I knew what I did was wrong. How could I feel two different ways at once? All about the same thing..