His Saving Grace

Chapter 23 - First Fight & Possible Redemption

After our sweet and rather cute moment together in which an obvious confidence and security in the other's presence was felt, we went our separate ways. I knew this was not the start to anything serious between us, but a dramatic shift had definitely occurred. Our relation would not be the same again and we had clearly established that the hatred we had for each other was no longer present, especially considering we would be attending the Yule Ball together.

The rest of the day we barely saw each other, except a few times in the hallways in which Tom would make sure to send me a genuine smile, but thankfully no one noticed. I did not want to offer anyone explanations until further notice, now I just wanted to focus on what I could possibly do to stop Tom from going forth with his plans.

I had finally realized that his multifaceted personality was not limited to his moods, but that there truly were many layers to Tom Riddle's persona; one of those more suppressed layers being goodness. Before we left the common room, he had told me what I needed to do in order to summon the Room of Requirement and that we would meet there tonight. A part of me wanted to use that period of time to convince him to put a halt on his endeavors, but another part of me just wanted to use his endeavors as an excuse to spend time with him.

Hours later, I entered the Room of Requirement and found Tom sprawled on the floor reading one of the books we had taken from the Restricted Section at the library. No one had noticed all of the missing books, which meant only good things for us. I walked over to him, sat down and laid my head on his broad shoulder waiting for him to acknowledge me in any way. He smiled to himself and continued reading, but I had caught him in the act. It felt nice that I had provoked that giddy reaction from someone as cold as Tom.

I was debating on whether to break the silence or leave him uninterrupted, but I liked the exposed vulnerability by our current position and lack of banter. When he finished the section of the book that had piqued his interest, he closed it and placed it next to the mountain of books we had accumulated for our horcrux information search.

He hoped to learn how to make a horcrux before the holidays, yet I hoped that reading about the dark magic he'd be summoning would make him back out completely. Tom started playing with my hand and gently rubbing his thumb on my knuckles, as if he were distracting himself from deep inescapable thoughts. I did not move, I just let him relax in my presence and hoped that eventually I would understand what he felt in that precise moment or at any point really.

A few seconds passed and he said, "Alastair, your presence has been missed greatly today."

He missed me? It made me feel content knowing I had not been the only one missing the other, despite having seen each other in the morning and around the halls. I had grown to enjoy his presence and I missed having him near me, even when he was being ill-mannered.

I cheekily responded, "Can't live without me now? Didn't know I had such a powerful effect..."

To this, I received a small chuckle and his famous eye roll. He softly let go of my hand and rose from the ground.

He walked around the room and said, "You do have quite an impact, but I would like to discuss something else with you."

My face shot up questioningly and I also rose from the rough ground to face him.

"I am not oblivious, I know you are not fully in this but I still need your assistance. Your abilities are beyond measure, plus it's easier to divide our current reading. These books, I will not go over all of them by the necessary time. I need you to help me rummage through every single page until we find every valuable piece of information. I need a horcrux made and we need it soon.", he said with his mighty voice.

"I made a promise Tom, I'll do what you ask.", I replied.

He nodded slightly and he gave me a random book to start my reading with.

Thirty minutes had passed, we sat in a comfortable silence reading books on different wizards attempts at making a horcrux. The contents of these books were scary, overwhelming and full of magic that I was not sure either of us could properly handle. I was starting to grow weary for both of our near futures.

My persistent question slipped out, "Tom, do you really have to go through with this?".

He looked at me as if I had gone mad, maybe I had considering I was still here.

"I have told you of my plans and why I have decided to make such decisions, of course I have to go through with this. I need this, we need this.", he replied emphasizing the 'we'.

Standing up and putting my hands over my head I exclaimed and pleaded, "We? You don't even need this! Tell me what I can say to convince you that your plan is not a logical solution to whatever problems you seem to have."

He undoubtedly got annoyed, I felt the change in temperament and in his demeanor. He straightened himself up, his nostrils were flaring and he was glaring at me with rage. "Voldemort, is my past, present and future! I am the future of wizardry and not even you will stand in the way of my plans, have I made myself clear?", he screamed in a menacing manner as he grabbed my arms and shook me strongly trying to knock some sense into me.

It was an angry blaring yell that nearly damaged my eardrums and his tightening grasp almost bruised me. This was not the calm, collected, almost kind man who had made me feel like the only woman in the world only hours ago. Standing in front of me was a power hungry Slytherin that would not stop until he got what he wanted, even if it meant losing himself or the only person who was making an effort at understanding him. Also, what did he mean by 'not even you'? I had too much inner turmoil to properly process anything.

Despite the sadness forming within my soul, I put on a strong facade and turned around to leave because I would not become his emotional rag doll, but then I heard him say, "I'm... sor- I'm... I'm sorry, okay? Please stay."

I stopped dead in my tracks, Tom Riddle had apologized. He was obviously struggling to let the words come out, which was very typical of someone like him. But he had made it a point to show that although he probably meant what he said, he did not mean to cause the negative feelings that his comments and behavior had produced.

I turned back around to face him and quickly said, "Okay, I'll stay."

It was the bare minimum, but it was a hint at redemption.

Months ago, I had told my best friend that Riddle could not feel anything, but now I knew he had deep convoluted feelings that were difficult for the both of us to understand and he was trying to get them in check. This effort meant that a conscious was growing inside of him, a conscious I could tap into and access the trapped man being imprisoned by the side of him that had just made a visit.

Cautiously, he placed his hand in my own once again, sighed deeply and whispered, "Sorry".

For now, this was enough for me. I looked into his eyes and sent a pearly smile, all was forgiven now. This first fight would definitely not be our last, but I would fight the long fight if it meant that I was doing anything meaningful to dignify Tom Riddle.