pleas save me from myself

trying

alex pov. 

today sucked ass. kids pushed me around many laughed at me and called me emo and freak and worthless no good bitch. i was called slut a lot and this one kid kept bothering me.

Robert...out of all people he had to be the one to make me regret coming here. he stood up for me today and i guess i admire him for that but hes just...he looks...i dont know but i just want to hug him

tell him im glad i came to cali and let him in...tell him my secrets and let him know falling in love is the thing im afraid of but him...he makes me think its okay to open up for someone once.

but then again...brandon was somewhat like that...and my heart was broken. i think i need to write it down...i think i need to let this out. i dont know but i think its time i write it down...

i grabbed paper and a pen and played Bring Me The Horizon-The house of wolves. 

Mu name is alexandria Garcia and my parents died when i was a little girl. i was raped by uncle at a young age. at age 11 i fell into a depression that all day i would cry. i had one friend and she was my world. my aunt beat me for years and my sisters told me shit. my brother moved away and i never got to see him. i lived in New York and i fell in love...it was the death of my heart. i let him in i thought he cared but he didnt he just lied he loved my best friend. i have in called Slut,Worthless,Bitch,Creepy,Freak,Crazy,Emo,Depressed loser etc. i moved here and tried to start over but my one friend can care less whats wrong with me or whats going on with me here now that i have moved. people have bin still telling me this and im trying to ignore it. i think im ugly and usless cuz of when i was 12 my depression got me locked up in the hospital and they asked me why i was sad and when i went to tharapy i saidi felt usless becaous i had bone pain and nobody helped me. i ended up in the hospital and after a month i was dignost with arthritis and i would have it for life. i take pills and get blood taken out and in New York i did this all on my own. i have grown to hatemyself but learn to keep trying. i try to talk but im afraid for people to think worse of me. My name is Alexandria Garcia and i am still struggling with self harm and suicidal thoughts but I'm still alive.

I put it in my bag and put my cloths for tomorrow. Black veil Brides shirt. Black jeans with a sleeping with sirens logo. And a bemo hat.

I did my work and sat on the roof. My phone rang. "Hello?". "Alex I need you're advice". It was johnny. "Sure, what's up".

"See my girlfriend is friends with this guy that is so much better then me and he flirts with her and I had a fight right now and I don't know she said she loves me only me

But hes a million times better". Idiot I remeber when my brother had this problem and snuck out to give him advice.

"You buy her food go to her house and say you're sorry. Who cares, if you love her you will believe her. Let her know" . "Thanks bye".

He hung up and i laid down.

********Next Day********

I was walking to school and that kid was following me. "Emo slut". I walked past him and someone pushed me and grabbed my bag

And dumped everything out. I quickly grabbed what I could and that person kicked me. I got up grabbed my bag and ran out the school...

Out of all people...it's me again...