Just Breathe: Sequel to Bullied By My Brothers

Chapter 1 - Where Am I?

"She's awake!" 

I saw my brothers, mom, dad, Anna, Zach, Kyle, Austin, and Will. 

They were all staring at me. They all looked like they had been crying. 

"What happened?" I asked. 

"The street...car, slammed on breaks...passed out, here!" My mom said. She broke down crying again. 

My brothers looked so sad. 

Then, I remembered. 

Suicide attempt. 

Now, that I think of it, that's the only thing I can really remember. 

I looked around the room and tried to count the number of people. 

I remember some things but I do not remember other things like how to add. 

I do not remember how to do certain things in math. 

"I-I can't add," I said. 

"What do you mean, you can't add?" Noah asked. 

"I tried counting the number of people in the room, but I can't remember how to add," I said. 

"Well, you did pass out from dehydration as well, but you should be lucky you survived," the nurse said. 

You should be lucky you survived. 

You should be lucky you survived.

You should be lucky you survived.

 Her words kept echoing through my head. 

"Ellie," she began. "Can you tell me why you attempted suicide?" 

I didn't say anything. That was the one question that I was trying to avoid. I didn't want to answer that one question. 

"Ellie, can you tell me what attempted number that was?" She asked. 

I didn't answer. 

She sighed. "Listen, I know that this must be very difficult for you to talk about but I need to know." 

I took a deep breath and nodded. "My fifth."

"Fifth?!" My dad asked. 

I looked at my brothers and friends. They all looked shocked. 

I looked at Will and he looked the most shocked. 

I guess this must've been a lot for him. 

He didn't know that I was suicidal. And then he saw me in the middle of the road. 

I can't believe all of this. 

And my attempt failed. Great. (Note the sarcasm)

The nurse nodded. "Ellie, I need you to tell me why you attempted suicide again, it's important." 

I took another deep breath. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. 

I just couldn't answer. 

The question is too direct. 

"Everyone, can you leave Ellie and I alone for a minute?" The nurse asked. 

Everyone nodded and walked into the hallway, one by one. 

The nurse shut the door behind them. 

She grabbed a notepad and a pen and then sat down in a chair next to the hospital bed. 

"Ellie, did it have to with school or family?"