This is the sequel to Bullied By My Brothers. If you haven't already, I would definitely recommend to read that book first!
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Ellie has four brothers. She is a depressed 14 year old. She has had a traumatizing past, and she wants...
Daniel and I have been gone for a day. We managed to pay for another hotel because I may have taken some money from Kyle's room. But, he would never notice because he has so much of it.
I have enough money now to last us some time. But, I'm kind of already getting home sick.
"Danny, I'm kinda feeling home sick."
"Aww. El, it's okay. Do you want to go back home?" He asked.
"Can we go home tomorrow? I want to stay a little longer." I said.
When it comes to running away, I'm not the best at it. Yes, sometimes I get Drapetomania. But, that doesn't particularly mean that I'm good at it.
I want my mom and my dad. No, not Mia and Kut. But, my real parents. I wish I wasn't adopted. I wish I was still with my family. My real family.
"We should probably get to sleep," I said.
"Okay," Daniel said.
Ding!
Daniel picked his phone up and looked at his messages.
"Woah. No way!" Daniel said.
His jaw dropped.
I made a confused expression.
"What?" I asked.
"There's this hot new girl at Jefferson High," he said, while pointing the photo to me.
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"Dang," I said.
For some reason, this made me really insecure. She's perfect..or at least she looks perfect. But, you can never know what someone is going through just by looking at them. For all I know, she could be suicidal too. You can't judge someone by their looks. Except, I've been judged many times by my looks. Many, many times. And it hurts, a lot. It hurts so much that it's difficult to explain.
But, pain is starting to get the best of me. Should I let it? I mean, why have I been holding on, anyways? Everyone just wants me dead. And that hurts. Everything hurts me. When I think of suicide, I don't want to have to actually go through with it. I would rather pay someone to kill me.
Wait, that's it! I have lots of money that I took, I mean borrowed from Kyle. Should I do it? I'll think about it...
Anyways, I just feel like sometimes no one notices my pain. No one notices the tears, the marks, the cuts, the scars. No one can notice any of it. And that hurts. Everything hurts.
Basically every day since kindergarten has been a bad day. I don't think I've had a single good day since then. That hurts. It all hurts.
People's words echo through my head all the time.
'You might need an XL!'
'Kill yourself!'
'Worthless.'
'Pathetic.'
'Stupid.'
'Loser!'
Why me?
No one can save me. No one can help me. I'm alone. I'm all alone. I know I'm not the only person on Earth that feels this way, but it feels like I am. I feel like I'm all alone, though I'm not. I want someone to tell me that everything will be okay. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want someone to hold me. I just want to feel safe for once. But, I never am. No matter where I go, I'm not safe. Even when I'm alone, I'm not safe from myself.
I feel alone. I feel lonely. All I can ever do is lie and say 'I'm fine,' when the truth is I'm not fine. I'm anything but fine. I wish I was more than fine!
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
The words echoed through my head like I was in a cave.
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. Literally, he was snapping in front of my face.
"Oh, um yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
But, that was just another lie.
"I know when your lying. Come here." Daniel said.
I moved closer to him.
He wrapped his arms around me and just held me there.
