Nos Ascendemus

21

"Harp, I'm coming to see you. Please forgive me."

After leaving the diner and also having that irritating encounter with Honey, Benjamin felt all of his energy quickly dissipate. Running his hand over his now exhausted eyes, he decided it was time to go visit Harper's grave. 

The blue-haired woman was right though, he had not visited the only other girl he had ever loved since eight (8) years ago. Now, thinking about it, he felt like absolute shit and could not help but feel guilty for not travelling down to go see her.

Not a day passed by that he did not think about her, but he had lost the courage and nerve to go see her as the years went by. Making his way to the large city's cemetery, his mind was clouded by thoughts of not only Harper but also Serah and his two (2) babies. 

He felt as if in a way, he had failed all four (4) of them with leaving Serah with the twins and being too young to help in the search of his old friend. In the back of his mind, he knew it was not his fault, but everything within him screamed that it was. 

After walking through the streets Vaxholm, the blonde man arrived at the tall wrought-iron gates of the cemetery. Waving at the caretaker who sat in a little booth situated near the entrance, he pushed them open. 

Finding his way over to Harp's grave was relatively easy, he remembered the way as if it were the back of his hand. When he reached it, his blue eyes quickly filled with tears and they started pouring down his cheeks.

It was in amazing condition, looking as if it was brand new, just like the day it was made and not almost two (2) decades old. However, that was not the part of the gravestone that had him tearing up, it was the fact they added a portrait of her with him and Elias beside her. 

Benjamin remembered the day that photograph was taken, it was her tenth (10) birthday, also the last time she would be able to celebrate it. She was the youngest out of the three (3) of them and they often teased her about it, not that she truly minded it. 

They were standing in front of the food table with party hats on, while Harper had on a sparkly princess crown that he had gotten her and cake was smeared all over their faces. Their smiles were bright and they all looked so happy.

Back then, they thought that they would be the best of friends till the day they died and even after that. Unfortunately, they could not have foreseen the pain and trauma that they would soon face a few months later. 

Dropping to his knees in front of the grave, his eyes widened at the sight of a small handmade bracelet that sat right on her grave in a clear box. It was still looked the same as it had all those years ago when the trio (3) made it.

It was a friendship bracelet that they had made to symbolise their bond forever and he had placed it on her grave the day of the funeral. Benjamin could not believe it was still there and even more so that it was in a protective case. 

Looking back up at the photograph, he could not help but break down and lean over the grave, hugging it as he wept. The blonde man just couldn't hold in the tears anymore, along with all the pain and guilt he had bottled up inside. 

"My little Harp, I'm so sorry for never coming back home to see you. I've never stopped thinking about you ever since I left this city and moved away. I always wanted to come to see you, but every time I tried to I got fucking scared and chicken out. I know you're probably looking down at me and shaking your head. I miss you so much every single second of the day. Please forgive me for not coming till now." 

He smiled sadly at the gravestone and ran his long fingers over her name that was carved into the marble. His tears dripping off his chin and splashing into the soil below. 

"I'll catch you up on what's been going on recently, I got married a few years ago to a wonderful woman named Serah, you would have loved her. She's so sweet and feisty, just like you had once been. Earlier this month, she gave birth to my son and daughter. Their names are Jasper and Harper, I named her after you. In a way to give you a second chance at life because yours was cut short. I never gave my wife the reason for the name, but I know now I have got to tell her everything. You were everything to me and still are, but now it's not just you in here, but those three (3) as well." 

Sighing, he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out the second third (2/3) of the handmade bracelets. Resting it on the clear box where her own sat, his smile wobbled and he started to sob loudly.

"Happy twenty third (23rd) birthday, my Harp. I wish you were here to experience it and celebrate it with us. You would love everyone back home at the club. We would have thrown this giant bash in the castle for you with your favourite cake and foods. I so badly wish you could be here to meet Serah, Jasper and Harper, they would have been obsessed with you. I also forgot to mention, Ellie got married last Christmas. His wife is an adorable tiny woman named Nova, she's a sweetheart with a terrible past, but thank Odin she survived it. Now she's the Queen of The Odin's Riders MC. You would have loved her too." 

Sniffling, Benjamin raised his arm to wipe his nose when a hand rested on his shoulder. Jumping up, the blonde man twirled around, ready to punch the person who touched him, when his blue eyes met the familiar emerald orbs of his best friend.

His eyes widened in shock at seeing the younger man and he quickly lowered his fist that was aimed at the brunette's face. 

"Ellie, what are you doing here?"

"I figured I'd find you here. Benji, why did you not just come and talk to me. I know what happened that day, I was there. You weren't the only person who lost her, I did too. You shouldn't be blaming yourself, it was not your fault. Stop thinking it is, Harp would be rolling in her grave if she knew that's what you've been doing all these years." 

The older man saw the hurt and sadness in his best friend's eyes. He felt his heart break at the realisation that he was doing exactly the opposite of what she would have wanted him to be doing. 

Pulling the younger man into a hug, he quietly murmured, "I'm sorry." 

They stayed in that position for a few minutes before they separated. The two (2) men looked down at the marble gravestone and smiled sadly. They both knew that there was nothing they could do but move forward and live for her. 

"Let's go back home. Your wife and babies miss you dearly."

"Okay, goodbye, for now, my little Harp. I'll definitely come to see you more often and I'll bring the other three (3) with me."

"I'll come too with Nova. I know she'd love that."

"She really would."