The Secret (DreamNotFound)

6

TW's:
-Bullying (abuse)
-Self harm

I decided to stay home the next day. My hip was really bruised and I was ashamed of my bruised face. I woke up early, feeling down. I had pain and I was very scared about what happened yesterday. I didn't have to go to school, but it still made me scared and sad. I grabbed my phone and suddenly saw multiple messages from a random number. I startled as I opened and read them.

Unknown number
ill get u
go cry with your mummy
ur so extremely ugly, just eat a little more
nobody wants u, can u die already
or learn to speak, u faggot
i hate u
ur stupid, dumb and annoying
just die, no one would care

My eyes got a little bigger. I directly knew it was Peter, he probably got my number from our school groups chat. I blocked the number and stared at my hands. It hurt me. His words stung me like knives. I had always felt dumb and insecure, everyone always told me it. They were right, I believed them. I stood up and walked downstairs. My hip really hurt, but walking felt nice. I prepared myself some breakfast and started writing a message for my mum. I was going for a little walk. I grabbed my coat and walked outside. I liked the cold breeze in my face. It made me feel a little more awake.

I walked for ten minutes, it was a nice walk so far. The soft breeze in my face, I liked it. I crawled away deep in my coat and kept walking, but suddenly. Suddenly I heard a voice I knew very well.

TW ABUSE

'Hey George.'

I turned around and tensed up. Peter.

'Do you think I'm just letting this happen? You kicked me from school. There is no one to help you now. The other faggot isn't going to protect you, he is in school. There is no one to help you and there will be no one to come and help you.'

I started running away, but because of my hip, I was way slower than he was. He kicked me in the back of my knee and I fell onto the ground. I groaned when my knee hit the ground. I tried turning around but he jumped me. He sat on top of me and started hitting me in my face.

'You idiot, I hate you. You need to know what you did. You can't do anything without that Clay guy. You're just a baby. Go and cry.'

I bit my lip to hold back my tears. He hit me even harder and started kicking me too.

'S-s-stop.'

'Is that the only thing you're going to say? You're nothing. You're worth nothing. You're a worthless piece of shit. I hate you. You're ugly as hell, you're annoying. You look like a baby and you act like a baby.'

He kicked me in my chest and hit my face even harder. When he beat me up for 10 minutes straight he stood up, kicked me one more time and walked away. I crawled up, but I was so hurt that I couldn't move. I realised I forgot my phone too at home so I couldn't call for help. I tried standing up for minutes straight and I managed to stand up, stumbling back home. When I came home twenty minutes later, my mum was still sleeping. I quickly went upstairs and hid in my room. No one was allowed to see me like this.

TW ABUSE OVER

TW SELF HARM

I started crying very hard and tried to make no noise. I squeezed my hands and the tears kept going. I was so extremely hurt. Not only my face and everything, but mostly my heart. I was completely broken. I looked around me and I suddenly saw a knife. I once bought it in England. I stood up and grabbed the knife. I couldn't resist myself anymore. I pulled my sleeves up higher and started making cuts in my arms. In a few minutes my whole arms were full of blood and cuts. I hid my arms in my sleeves. It stung like crazy, but I deserved it. I wasn't worth it as he said. I was a worthless piece of shit. I was worth nothing and I knew it.

Clay didn't like me, he didn't want to be my friend. It was all just pity. I didn't deserve him, he was way too sweet for me. It was all fake, I didn't want to be hurt even more.

I suddenly heard my mum walking. I turned to my side and acted like I was asleep. She knocked softly on the door.

'Sweetie?'

'Mmm.'

'I'm going to the supermarket, I will be right back.'

'Mmm.'

'Sleep for a little.'

She closed the door and I sat up. Blood was coming through my sleeves and it was making stains in my bed. I stood up and started panicking. It was bleeding really bad and I was so hurt.

847 words