Cellmates

Love is pain

Heechul was still really weak. It had been two weeks since his near death experience. He was grateful for the man who had saved him. Hangeng was really nice. He took really good care of Heechul. He fed him and always made sure that everything was okay. Heechul had a shoulder to cry against. He still hadn't told Hangeng about himself. The innocent Chinese man didn't know that he was taking care of a prostitute.

Every time Heechul cried, Hangeng pulled him against his chest and stroke his back.

"Don't cry my princess."

Heechul was used to men calling him beautiful or pretty but it was always followed by a "you really look like a girl. It'll be easier to fuck you." Hangeng had started to call him princess after three days. He had asked if it was okay with Heechul, who had nodded. Hangeng was sure that there had been a small smile on his face. Heechul's smile was beautiful. Hangeng felt satisfaction. It was the first time Heechul actually smiled in front of him and the smile was truly beautiful.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

Hangeng smiled and stroke Heechul's hair.

"I'm nice to everyone but for some reason I don't want to let you go," he said. That was the moment when Heechul knew that this man was the one. His heartbeats were always a bit faster when he was near. Heechul who had sworn that he would never fall in love because he knew that love could only cause pain. He didn't want Hangeng to find out about his feelings in the fear of rejection.

Heechul felt bad. It had been a month already. He was still living in Hangeng's guestroom. It felt like he was taking advantage of the young man even though he wasn't. Hangeng had asked him to stay and he had agreed. He wanted to leave but he couldn't deny the fact that he was in love. He couldn't leave. If he left he would never see Hangeng again. He would never be able to hug him. He wouldn't have anyone who could make him feel better and he would have to sell his body again.

The days he spent at the kind man's home were in the same time the best and the worst days of his puny life. His heart ached every time Hangeng was too nice to him. Every time he hugged him. Every time he called him "his princess." Heechul wanted to let go of the Chinese man. The feelings he had for the man were not doing any good. An innocent crush had quickly turned into love. Love that he could never receive from Hangeng.

"Hannie are you going to kick me out soon?" Hangeng smiled. He pulled Heechul against his chest.

"Why would I?" he asked and ran his fingers through Heechul's soft and black hair. Heechul didn't cry. He wanted to but he just couldn't. He wanted to pretend that what he was receiving from the nice Chinese man was love. The hugs they shared.

Love.

It was all what Heechul really wanted.

One night Hangeng woke up to Heechul's screams. He ran into the room where the beautiful man was supposed to be sleeping. Hangeng found the black haired male laying on the floor holding his wrist, which was covered in blood. There was also one of Hangeng's kitchen knives. The red drops of blood on the silver blade made it obvious what Heechul had tried to do.

"Did you hurt yourself?!" Hangeng panicked and tried to find something to stop the bleeding with. He found Heechul's towel. He rushed next to Heechul who was crying hysterically. Hangeng grabbed his arm and wrapped the towel around his wrist. After that he pulled Heechul against his chest and started to stroke his back. Just like he always did.

"Hannie why did you do that?" Heechul asked between his sobs. He wanted to die. He was sure that Hangeng would never want to be with a dirty whore. Heechul had already fallen in love with him and he was desperate. He just wanted to end the pain his heart was feeling.

"I don't want you to die my princess," Hangeng said trying to hold back his tears. He rocked back and forth. He couldn't keep himself calm. He didn't understand what had driven Heechul to the point where he wanted to commit suicide.

"My princess, my Cinderella, my Rella," he sobbed as he stroke Heechul's back.

"Don't be so nice. It will only hurt more," Heechul cried and tried to push Hangeng away.

"Why does it hurt?" the Chinese man asked. He didn't let go of Heechul whose crying just didn't seem to stop.

"Because I-I," Heechul stuttered.

"I love you!" he cried.

Hangeng stopped moving his left hand which was stroking Heechul's back. Heechul felt how Hangeng's grip was loosening up. He started to cry even harder. He had told the Chinese man about his feeling and he thought that this was it. Now he would be thrown out on the streets and he would have to sell his body again.

Hangeng grabbed Heechul's shoulders. He pushed the beautiful and fragile man gently and stared at his eyes which were red and puffy because of the crying. He moved his hands on Heechul's cheeks. He wiped away the tears which were still falling. He approached Heechul slowly and gently pressed his lips against Heechul's soft ones. Neither of them moved for a moment. They kept their lips connected to a few minutes until Heechul stopped sobbing. Hangeng pulled away after the beautiful man had calmed down.

"Why?" Heechul asked. He lowered his head and stared at his feet. It was just a joke right? There was no way that Hangeng would like him. Heechul quickly glanced at his wrist. The bleeding had stopped. Hangeng had stayed silent for a moment.

"Look at me," he said. Heechul shook his head. He tried to stay calm. He didn't want to cry again.

"Heechul please look at me."

Heechul heard Hangeng use his real name. It could only mean something serious. He looked up and saw that Hangeng had a gentle smile on his face. Heechul loved that smile. It always made him feel better. Hangeng grabbed Heechul's hands carefully not wanting to hurt his wrist. He landed a gentle kiss on both of his hands keeping the eye contact.

"It may sound weird but I love you too Rella."

Heechul couldn't believe his ears. Hangeng had confessed to him. It felt so unreal but Heechul really wanted to believe that he had heard it correctly.

"Can you say it again?"

"I love you Kim Heechul."