Game Of Thrones - America 2020

SEASON 1 - PART 1

Our story opens with Ned Stark, proprietor of The Coldest Cut delicatessen and a sitting member of the Westeros County Council. Ned is regarded as a Deli Master, having studied Eastern deli management from samurais during his time in Japan, and he is considered the most honorable man in Westeros. He lives for the community and loves helping the citizens. He would often be seen walking around town announcing the next impending season because the weather forecasts are so wrong, they are now regarded as fake news.

Ned is invited by the mayor, Robert Baratheon, to host the next monthly county council meeting. The proposal is objected to by council member Joffrey Lannister, Robert's son. Joffrey is also the grandson of Tywin Lannister, who runs the town's slaughterhouse and is Ned's main competitor. Both men are the largest meat suppliers in a county with the second finest meat college on the North American continent. Joffrey's protest, at the behest of his grandfather, is shouted down by the other District members, who are all well aware of Ned's mastery of the Rueben. Joffrey relents, as he is only on the council because of Tywin, and he feels that the meetings take time away from his true passion of art.

Meanwhile, Daenerys Targaryen opens a coffee shop in the eastern end of the Westeros Shopping Mall, a sizeable building that takes up most of the county land and is home to all the stores in town. She considers herself an excellent businesswoman and believes in the power of promotion. She names herself the Mistress of Branding and is always seen with a coffee cup in front of her sporting her logo.

Meanwhile, the police force prepares for the weekly invasion of White Walkers, a group of activist protestors from the meat college. The sheriff is Jamie Lannister, Tywin's son, who no longer patrols the streets due to a workplace injury. Years ago, in order to make Westeros safer, the council prohibited firearms within county borders, so most residents now carry bladed weapons. One day, the previous mayor, high on meth, ran through the streets with sword upraised, chasing about the hapless townfolk. Jamie arrived on scene, the inevitable saber duel ensued, and the result was that the mayor lost his life and Jamie lost his hand. Jamie now mans a desk and leaves the action scenes to the other officers. His senior deputies are Brienne the idealist and the two grizzled partners of Sandor and Bronn.

Meanwhile, a motorcycle gang, the Dothraki, from Dothrak, Missouri, arrive in town.

Meanwhile, the Stark family prepares fixings for the council meeting. Those assisting include Ned's wife, Catelyn, who is the brains of business and the one who administers roles to all the children. The daughters are responsible for making the bread for the ten-foot sub. Sansa, the oldest, is allowed to create the shape of the dough, as she is the artistic one in the family. She works at the local craft store as the head of the sewing and stitching department, but only keeps the job in order to get close to the overnight manager, Joffrey. Her sister, Arya, is a Goth chick who is into knives and death, so she would be responsible for slicing the thing in two. Arya was genetically born male but identifies as female. Due to her father's esteem, all people in their neighborhood refer to Arya as a girl, but outside of their district, she is constantly disrespected.

The responsibility of carving the meats is left to the oldest son, Robb, and his creepy best friend, Theon, who hangs out in the shop playing video games because the Starks are known for having the most reliable and honorable Wi-fi. Robb cuts up his ham, but is left having to do all the rest of the work once Theon ends up bloody after one bad slice of his salami. The youngest boys, Bran and Rickon, distribute the vegetables and condiments. Bran is the stereotypical weird record store employee who speaks only in koans and music lyrics. Rickon really doesn't do much at this point, or ever.

All family members are busy inside The Coldest Cut, all except Jon Snow, Ned's bastard son. Catelyn refuses to let him inside because a) there isn't a hairnet in the world that can hold in all that, b) deli certifications are only provided by the meat college, which one can only attend with a valid birth certificate, and c) he is a bastard.

Meanwhile, Tyrion Lannister, radio DJ and all-around cool cat, returns home after a whirlwind DJing tour to take his rightful place as king of the meat college radio station.

Meanwhile, Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish collects a victory as he sells a 1995 Buick LeSabre for a thousand over Kelly Blue Book value. Baelish is the president of the Westeros Chamber of Commerce and owns many small businesses, including his used car dealership, the local ladder emporium, and others, all while he is the silent business partner of Hot Pie, who is the face of Hot Pie's Hot Pies, a pizza parlor known for Hot Pie's Hot Pies' hot pies. Baelish's attempt at entering politics was cut short when polling suggested that people associated the name Littlefinger with small hands, making him unsuitable public office in the voters' eyes. It was because of this that he remains apolitical, not caring who is in charge, and he created the Bordello Without Banners, a cathouse where all whores are required to be registered as Independents.

Meanwhile, Ned's brother, Benjen, arrives to help the family, and Jon begs him to hire Jon to work in his uncle's record store, The Wall of Sound. Benjen hesitates, for as much as he knows Jon is a good person, he also knows that Jon is a slacker who ignores the rules. Jon argues that Benjen hires criminals, but Benjen responds with the fact that it is to help them get back on their feet, omitting the fact that he only hires convicts that displayed professionalism and a work ethic in their crimes. After more cajoling, Benjen relents.