11. Losing Against Sanity
Iris:
Life, breathing, happiness and love... all these things are over rated. It doesn't matter how we were born or we die or even how we live what matters is how many life's we touched in the process and how we touched them.
I pulled Logan closer burying myself in him. "I love you." I whispered on his bare chest. I felt his body vibrate as he chuckled. I moved back looking at his face with a huge smile
"Why you got to be so ticklish?" I asked laughing. He gave me a huge smile like he always did when I laughed like just the sound of it made him the happiest person on earth.
He bent down kissing me. Feeling naughty, I slipped a hand inside his pants squeezing his ass, making him jump.
***
"I am not sleepy." I said like a child to Logan. "Sing me a song." I said pouting.
"Seriously?" He asked with wide eyes. moving his laptop away.
"Yes." I said showing my teeth while a smile.
"Which song?" Logan asked. He had an amazing voice. Singing me serenades every few nights.
"Some song." I said
And he started a song I couldn't recognize.
It was the best falling asleep to his voice. But lately, I'd been dreaming about the same guy over and over again making me feel guilty like I'd committed a crime without knowing. It was the same guy I'd met at the cafe before but without the beard.
And if I told you how this story ends
Would you change a step you take?
And if I could relive all of my days
I'd live them all the same
'Cause I'm scared
Of all that I don't know
'Cause I want it all, but all of it ain't gold
And I'm scared
But I know it's not for long
'Cause I'm learning what I should've long before.
***
I ran a hand through my hair feeling frustrated. What was wrong with me? What is wrong with me? These words repeated in my head. Iris. It kept calling me.
What was happening, this had to be a dream. I felt a sinking feeling inside me but somehow I knew this feeling didn't belong to me, it belonged to 'him' whoever he was.
"Are you okay?" A girls voice called from the outside of the room. The guy just fell back down on the bed. Then got up losing his balance a little. Woah, he looked sick. Like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. He took a bag and put some stuff in it including a bottle of pills.
He left the room without saying anything, pushing a dark skinned girl with golden eyes and walked away.
The image shifted and I found myself in a hotel room. He pours the entire content of the bottle in his palm making me nervous.
"What are you doing?" I said making him jump. The pills fall everywhere.
Fuck! his minded shouted. He covered his face trying to calm down. I walked over to the bottle of pills and looked at it. Some sort of sleeping pills. He grabbed a bunch and gulped it down with water.
"Alec." I said with my heart racing. Alec. Is that his name? I could feel myself getting heavier. But it wasn't my body. It was his. I looked around for any hints I could find espically the name of the hotel. Why did everything got to be so blurry? Mayfair? I kept repeating it in my head so that I don't forget it. I woke up with pain in my chest feeling like I couldn't breathe.
"Iris... you okay?" Logan asked switching the bed light on. "Come here." He said as he saw my hand near my chest. We were no strangers to panicattacks. He rubbed my back gently holding me close to him. Not too tight not lightly. "Did you have a bad dream?" He asked. And all my lips managed to whisper was the hotel name supposedly, "Mayfair".
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