What I Am

1: The First Morning

I'm a grade 9 student, it's the start of classes.

Its beeeeeeeeeen 3 years since I've been going to this school.

They always said high school is supposed to be a great time for everyone.

It hasn't been treating me too well actually. I'm starting to hate it.

*bell rings*

"I don't think I'm ready for this," I said to myself, not giving a direct look at the door. "I shouldn't worry about it." I said before going inside.

Everybody in class are already talking.

But as I got in, everybody went silent. And they all gazed at me.

I didn't make it troubling for me so I just went to the first vacant seat I see.

The teacher arrives,

And just like any 1st day of class, once the teacher comes in, we'd be introducing ourselves to each other.

I was never a fan of this kind of 1st day tradition.

~~~

As soon as the teacher introduces. We should follow up.

We were called up one by one starting from the front row.

But before it starts, some students complained and shouted,

"We already know each other," and laugh afterwards.

The teacher acknowledges it and asks,

"Who were classmates last S.Y. ?"

Everyone in class starts raising their hands, clearly saying that all of them know each other perfectly.

I was the only one that didn't raise a hand. everybody looks at me.

"Young lady, could you please stand up and introduce yourself?"

I stood up and went to the front of class, without hesitation.

Everybody starts to whisper at each other while looking at me. While one shouts,

"You don't need to introduce yourself!"

I couldn't look at them, but the teacher still insists that I introduce myself.

"M-my name is Pauline Lucas, I-I hope I get to know you all and be friends," I said in a cheerful way, smiling at the same time.

"We don't want to be friends with you!" They shouted while looking at me.

I couldn't look at them. I felt a lot more embarrassed.

"Don't cause any trouble okay?"
The teacher said, holding me.

I smiled and started to go back to my seat when someone trips me.

I fell down the floor.

They all started laughing at me and no one bothered to help me.

"So much for a first day," I say to myself as I start standing up.

The teacher starts to discuss what will be happening in her subject, Math. (Math as a first subject? Holy--)

After all her discussion she stands up and gets ready to go to her next subject.

And before she gets outside she calls me out, I immediately stood up, not knowing what I was called for.

"I'm watching you, young lady."

I went back to class and assume that everyone inside heard it.

The class starts to make fun of it and laugh as they see me treated differently.

~~

The second teacher hasn't arrived yet so I thought I could try to make friends in this class.

I tried to greet them before trying to be their friend but, everyone I got near to started to got scared of me or insulted me.

"Please, don't hurt me," one girl said moving away from me.

"Go away, I dont want to be friends with the likes of you!" Another one said.

As I was trying to talk to another one of my classmate, the teacher arrives.

And he completely calls me out after seeing me standing up.

"Ms. Lucas, what are you trying to do to your classmate?"

"Nothing sir!" I answered, shaking my head.

"Don't cause any trouble for the first day," he angrily said.

"Yes sir!" I said in a pissed manner.

I started to return to my seat just to see someone else sitting there.

"Could I sit here for a while?" He said while he and his friends were laughing.

I didn't care and started to find a vacant seat.

The teacher sees me and starts to shout at me,

"MISS LUCAS! WHEN WILL YOU SIT DOWN,"
While slamming the table to scare me.

I found a vacant seat and I went to it as fast as I can.

Everybody starts to look at me.

"Getting me mad in the first day!"the teacher exclaimed, trying to throw something at me.

I hide my face, embarrassed and feeling totally pathetic.

While touching me, a girl beside me asks, "Are you okay?"

I answered, "Yeah." not showing her my face.

The girl gets pissed for some reason,

"Serves you right," hitting me in the head.

Its just the start of the day, and a lot of things have already happened.