What I Am

2: Why

"Why are they treating me like this?"

"Are they doing it for no reason?"

"Are they having fun with this?"

"Why does this keep happening to me?!"

I kept thinking about it.

Maybe its one of those stereotypical stuff you see in corny dramas.

If they don't like you they're mean to you.

I thought of that and laughed a bit. Forgetting for a while what kind of garbage day I just got in to.

~~~~

Recess, I went to go to a canteen.

"At least here, my existence isn't a nuisance," I said to myself, about to chow down some food.

It was then I was greeted by someone, someone that I don't recognize.

"Good morning!" She greeted, with a sweet smile on her face.

I looked around, wondering if it was me she wanted to greet.

"Pauline, don't you recognize me?" She said with a confused look.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head.

"It's the girl from class," she said.

"The one who hit me or the one who got scared?" I asked.

"Oh, that's right, I'm sorry for hitting you," she said with a not-so convincing look.

"What do you want?" I asked looking a bit pissed.

"I know you did that on purpose, stop putting up an act now," I added.

She starts to glare at me.

"If you say so," she said.

"I just wanted to ask if you—" she was saying but,

"No," I answered.

"Could you at least let me finish?!" She angrily said.

"Join our club," she said.

"A club? For you to make fun of me?" I jokingly said.

"You already know my answer," I said as I started to leave.

I guess I was kind of a douche there.

But, eh, I dont mind.

~

I got back to our classroom, there was still a few minutes left so I started to rest my head.

I thought, "why did my high school life become like this?"

I couldn't think of any actual reason for it except for something.

~~~~~
Flashback~

It's the start of classes, I'm a freshman for this new school.

I got so excited for this that I couldn't contain myself.

Well shit, it's high school, no more parents taking me to school, I could go on my own.

Just that thought got me a bit excited.

But its the new place that really got me going.

This is just turning into useless dialogue so I'll skip it out.

As class started, everyone introduced in front of class.

I was the last one to introduce myself.

One of my classmates, kept commenting on each person introducing.

So when it was my turn, he commented "wait, you're the weirdo from last year."

I dont even know the guy, but, he kept saying it.

"You must've been thinking of someone else," I answered.

"No, it is you," he said as he was pointing at me.

"I don't even know you, how could you know me?!" I asked irritatedly.

"Everyone from school knows what you did," he said.

"What are you even talking about?!" I asked.

Then someone else says, "yeah it is her."

"Wha— I don't even know any of you?!" I shouted.

I covered my mouth.

Everybody stared at me.

Looking scared.

I looked at the guy who kept commenting.

And I could see from his face that he planned this.

Just to mess with me apparently. Pretty stupid.

~~~~

"So maybe that's why," I thought."I let myself blow."

"And everyone got scared."

I sat down properly and started to feel a bit better as class was approaching.

"I hope I don't screw up this time," I said to myself feeling a bit of hope.