DomKat: Stolen Moments

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To Kat, falling in love was all about realizations.

She and her friends set the ground rules one night after way too many drinks. Between rounds of vodka shots, they'd decided that you could tell you were in love in two very distinct ways.

The first was when you realized your heart was full and that your life was richer for having someone special to share it with. Kimberly had fought vehemently for this point because it was how she'd realized she was in love with her husband. She'd recounted with significant amounts of slurring and spillage how one night she'd kissed him goodbye and known at that moment that her heart couldn't get more full, or her life more complete.

The other option Kat and the girls had agreed upon was when you realized you were missing out on so much without that companion. The concept of experiencing new things and not having the right person to share them with was at the heart of this dilemma. Jules had ensured this was on the list because it was how she'd known she was in love with her girlfriend.

But then there was the realization Katherine woke with on a rainy Saturday morning. It was a feeling so strong, so sure, Kat knew she'd have to make an amendment to the "Falling In Love" rules.

She'd awoken to the realization there'd always been an empty space beside her—one she didn't know had existed—until like a puzzle piece Dominique slipped in and filled it. It was an odd thing, to suddenly be aware of, and ache from this missing piece. Katherine felt it was a lot like noticing a small secret pattern or message and not being able to see the original picture anymore. Dominique was the special something that had changed her whole outlook, and there was no going back now.

It happened just as she was coming out of her dreams. She'd dreamed of Dominique and the time they spent in the United States filming. It was of the day they'd gone to the coast and walked along a barren stretch of sand collecting shells. As Katherine came out of the dream, she rolled over and was hit with the sudden realization that no one was beside her. Her hand found cold sheets and as her eyes opened, the vacancy was so stark it put a lump in her throat.

She felt alone. Truly alone for the first time in seemingly her whole life. Sure, she'd been lonely before—but this was different, pervasive, and overwhelming. Katherine felt like a piece of her was missing, with nothing but emptiness left behind.

Katherine didn't move immediately, she didn't drag herself out of bed like she normally did, ready to tackle the world. No, instead she laid on her side and held her pillow tight, wishing more than anything that Dominique was with her.

It couldn't happen. Dominique had flown back to England to be with her family a week ago, and the distance between them made the ache she felt worse and better at the same time. If Dominique was going to be out of reach, Katherine was grateful it was by thousands of kilometers and not by millimeters.

As her melancholic thoughts drifted, she contented herself with watching rain paint lines down the windows backlit by clouded morning light. It was peaceful—beautiful and quiet—a Saturday morning she wasn't typically afforded.

Being an actor, she'd come to terms with the reality of trading certain domestic things should she ever achieve any modicum of success. Things like sleeping next to her partner every night or being able to reach out for a hug when she needed it, even waking up in the same bed every night, all of it had been on the list of things she stood to lose in the pursuit of her career. She'd always rationalized that those things weren't a high cost, not in trade for all the incredible people she'd meet and grown to love along her travels.

But.

This morning, laying in her own bed and watching the rain on the glass with the light just right...the cost felt extraordinarily high with the pang of emptiness beside her.