secret crush {Joshua FF}

*5*

It was evening already and I still couldn't figure out what's happening.

I didn't want to be delusional but what happened today made me believe that Joshua wrote all those letters.

But why?

Why would he do such a thing?

I did what I had to do.

I called ChaeRyeong.

„ChaeRyeong-ah...do you think that the one who wrote the letters really likes me?" I asked her quietly.

„Hmm...yeah...I'm pretty sure of it." her answer made me happy...somehow.

„But why wouldn't he tell me?" I asked as if she could know...

„Maybe he's too shy..." she answered.

„Or my close friend..." I whispered for myself.

„What? I can't hear you." said ChaeRyeong and I quickly got a grip.

„Anyway...I have a plan on how to get a lot of notebooks from guys on our school-" she started happily but I cut her off.

„No...I'll just...think of other way to find him...you don't have to-" this time she cut me off.

„Come on! I want to help you! You said yourself that you have to find him...oh...I have to go now...see you tomorrow." she hung up just like that.

I put my phone on a table and unconsciously looked out from my window.

Just when I thought about calling Joshua he turned off the lights in his room so I decided to not disturb him.

But my head was a mess.

I felt something really unfamiliar in my heart.

Luckily I managed to fall asleep but before that I set my alarm to wake up earlier.

I couldn't wait any longer to ask Joshua if it really was him.

„I'll walk to school today!" I told my parents and left.

But not to school.

To Joshua's house.

„Hello!" I greeted his mom. „I came to pick up Joshua." it was a long time since I said something like this.

The last time was in LA I think...

„Ah...but he already left to school. He said he had to hurry." she explained.

What? Why would he?

I bid my goodbyes to her and went to school.

I thought that I'll meet him easily but he was nowhere to be seen.

What is wrong with him?

I saw him in the class but he didn't even say hi to me.

It was already a lunch break and I still didn't have a chance to talk to him.

He wasn't even at the lunch!

I sat there playing with the food on my plate when ChaeRyeong joined me.

„Look what I got!" she said really enthusiastically.

She placed a bunch of notebooks on my table.

Wow...she really meant it.

„What is this?" I asked her with a bit of worries.

„Notebooks from 6 guys that go to this school. Let's check them!" she sounded so excited.

„No...I don't need to do that anymore." I continued playing with my food.

„What? Did you find him?" she was indeed surprised.

„Well...I guess...but now I really need to find him." she couldn't understand what I meant but whatever.

„What? I think you just gave up." she assumed. „But you should be cautious. Very cautious in fact 'cause he might be anywhere and you can't miss him."

„He might as well be giving you another letter right now!" she said out of blue and that was when I got it.

„Oh my god, ChaeRyeong!" I yelled out.

Joshua was not at the lunch bream

How could I not get it!?

„I have to go!" I stood up immediately and rushed to my locker.

Please be there! Please be there!!

I could see him from afar.

He was standing in front of my locker but I couldn't see what exactly he was doing.

His locker is next to mine after all...

„Shua!" I yelled out happily.

He looked like I just scared the crap out of him.

He turned at me with the most shocked expression on his face I've ever seen.

And that's when I decided what to do.

I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted him to tell me himself why he did that.

That's why I acted like I don't know.

„What are you doing?" I asked him.

„What? I was just...taking some books and...now...I have to go...cause...I'm late." he basically ran away.

Late? For what?

Now is the time to check if I'm right.

I opened my locker and he really left another letter.

Expecting something nice I opened it but then I couldn't believe my eyes.

He wrote:

'The letters were just a joke, don't take it too seriously.'

What?!

Okay...what's enough is enough!

I ran out from the school gate to follow Joshua.

He was not too far away yet.

„Ya!" I yelled from the bottom of my lungs.

He stopped and turned over slowly.

I ran closer to him and I was almost out of my breath.

„Why did you do it?" I asked gasping for some air.

„Did what?" he really thinks I'm stupid...

„The letter...why did you...do it?" he looked really shocked that I already knew but that's not important right now.

„I...don't know, okay? I guess I just...wanted to tell you all those things but... I couldn't" he explained.

„No." I said simply.

„I said 'the letter'. Just the last one." his eyes went wide.

„Why did you write that it was a joke?" I asked him sadly.