secret crush {Joshua FF}

*4*

The following day I found another letter saying:

‚You're really cute sometimes, do you know that? '

This has to be my favourite so far.

I smiled again like an idiot.

Joshua, who was standing next to me didn't even bother to look what I got this time.

I opened a small pouch where I collect all these letters and added this one.

Joshua laughed at me.

He literally laughed.

„Stop it." I pointed my index finger at him.

I really wanted to not think about it anymore but it was hard.

What if it's someone I don't even know?

Or what if it's just some jerk who's making fun of me?

I really had no other choice than to wait and hope that he'll show up.

„So...how's searching for your admirer going?" ChaeRyeong sat next to me during break.

„I guess I'm giving up."

„What? I don't believe you." she said simply.

„Why?"

„Cause you're not the type who gives up easily." what has gotten into her?

„What do you want me to do? He obviously doesn't want me to find out anything about him." I laid my head on the desk.

„And? You wanted to know who is it so badly..." she sounded kinda disappointed.

„But I don't know what to do anymore..."

„Maybe...you can find out who's your admirer without him knowing." she sounded like she just got an idea.

I raised my head. „What? How?"

„Ehm...his handwriting? Look he has written all those letters with his hand didn't he?" she really had a great idea.

„I guess... But he could change it on purpose."

„But still you could be able to find some similarities. You just need to look into every guy's notebook." she said proudly.

„Wow...you're really making it sound as if it's nothing."

„You have to admit that it's a great idea though..." she praised herself and left.

It was a great idea but I just didn't feel like sneaking into every guy's notebook to compare the handwritings.

But I guess I had no other choice.

The lunch break.

Time to think it over.

I sat down a decided to write a list of all the guys on this school I know.

„Hey Lau." Joshua sat down next to me with his lunch.

But I was just so busy with the list.

„Huh? Where's your 'Hey Shua.' ?" he sounded disappointed.

„I'm sorry, I'm just... busy..."

„What is that?" he peeked at my list.

„A list of all the guys in this school that I know." I explained simply.

„What? Don't you think you're overdoing it?" he asked that once again.

„I already told you... I want to find who's my secret lover." I smiled at my list as I finished it.

„Lover?!" he yelled out in surprise.

„The fact that he wrote that you're cute doesn't mean that he loves you!" he sounded as if he was defending him.

I gave it a thought.

Joshua took a sip of his coke when something came into my mind.

„How do you know what he wrote?" he spit out the coke right away.

„What?" he asked while coughing.

„I didn't tell you about that one."

„I...I was there. Did you forget? I saw it..." he really was there but I thought he was not looking.

„Anyway...what are you planning to do with the list?" he asked suddenly.

„Check their handwriting." I answered him.

„Handwriting? Why?" he suddenly seemed so interested.

„To compare it to the handwriting on the letters." I explained and he looked surprised.

„What? How did you come up with that?" does he think I'm stupid or what?

„Well...ChaeRyeong did..." I stated.

„She has a lot of great ideas indeed." he said ironically and took another sip of his coke but this time successfully.

„I think you should stop searching for him." he added.

„Why this time?" he said that a multiple times already.

„You're just..." he didn't know what to say. „taking it too seriously."

I just looked at him with a sad eyes.

„Too seriously?" I repeated.

„Forget it. If you want to find him go on but I gotta go." he stood up and took his bag but I stopped him.

„Wait! Could you borrow me your notes from Mr. Melton's class? My notes are so messed up." he thought about it a little.

„Yeah...I'd like to but I don't have them with me right now..." he said and I could tell that he was lying. I know him too well.

„I really have to go now." he said and left quickly.

I thought about it for the rest of the day and I needed to confirm my suspicions.

After school I rushed into my room and looked for my old notebooks from the school we went to in LA.

We would always study together so I could easily find Joshua's handwriting in it.

And I did.

I knew the handwriting was familiar.