Dreamer's Ball [ENOLA HOLMES]

fifteen; don't run from your dreams

chapter fifteen; don't run from your dreams

A weight lifted off Amélie's shoulders. Certain parts of her dirtiness washed away. The guilt of disappointing her loved ones was gone. André loved her for her and that made Amélie so damn elated.

She belonged.
Her brother assured her of that.

She wasn't broken.
Her brother assured her of that too.

And-and God didn't hate her! To André's dismay, he picked up the Bible for the first time in years to find a verse to help Amélie with her self-journey. Love one another as I have loved you—Jesus didn't preach hate, but preached acceptance. It was eye opening for the Bissonnette siblings. Religion wasn't what others preached in their faces—hatred, bigotry, selfishness—but love. An accepting comfort that everyone was made in a likeness that couldn't be changed or altered. People were made as they were.

Of course, this didn't change André's perceived notion due to his horrid past experiences with the church. Maybe God did love the people... but the people here certainly didn't share that same message of love. Amélie understood that. It made sense. Both have seen first hand how hateful others can be... Maybe the church itself wasn't for the Bissonnettes. They could study about God's teachings on their own if they so desired. André assured Amélie of that, if she had any question, he'd be there to answer. He'd always be there for her.

It was a sense of freeing feeling for Amélie. Sure, everything wasn't right at the moment, but things were getting better. At the moment, she thought of herself as climbing to the top of the world as she left her baggage of guilt and dirtiness behind. Religious guilt wouldn't be tolerated within her head anymore. She could take on the world with that mindset! Wait... but... what would the world think of her?

Oh god, what would other think of her? Truly, opinions of others never bothered Amélie.

She couldn't tell anyone else yet... she wasn't ready. Not yet at least. Even if she believed that it was okay and her thoughts of believing it to be wrong was gone, not everyone agreed. She just needed a little more time.

Time to process it all. Time to cope with the loss of Enola... and the nagging thought that Amélie would never see the girl again.

It felt like an eternity, though it had barely been a week or so. Amélie's heart yearned for Enola. Oh, she couldn't stop thinking about the Holmes girl. But there was nothing she could do about it but dream. She wanted to hug and hold her. She wanted to cuddle up and sketch together. She wanted sweet kisses as they had a picnic. She wanted to dance with the girl she wanted.

And yet... as nice as those dreams were... Amélie secretly knew they'd never be a reality. She still feared Enola hated her for that kiss. That Enola didn't feel the same way. Regardless, the two were separated... and Amélie didn't know for how long or if she'd see the girl again. What if Enola didn't want to see her again? It pained her, but it was the reality she was stuck with. The only way to cope was through hopeful and wishful thinking.