Why?

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Every night I lie in bed, eyes full of tears, thinking. Why? Why do I have to be such a fuck up? Why do I have to be the way I am? Depressed, anxious, lonely, fat, ugly, unwanted, unloved, uncared for. Why can't I just be normal? Does anyone even notice I am not okay? Do they even care? Now that I think about it, no one does. No one notices that I'm struggling with so much, hiding behind a fake smile, showing everyone a life that's fake. My life is a great representation of many saying such as "Don't judge a book by its cover", " What you see isn't always what you get ", and my personal favorite that I have re-worded to fit my liking, " Those with the biggest smile are usually the one's who's hearts hold the most pain"

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