The Mishap

Chapter Seventeen

My mind is in a fog. It keeps repeating the same memories over and over, the words looping into a vicious cycle that makes my heart hurt.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“Goodbye, Lizard.”
“Get out Liza.We're done here.”
“You’ve done enough.”
Case… Brandi… I hurt them both so much with my lie like a domino effect. There’s no coming back from this. I single-handedly messed up not only the relationship with my best friend, but everything that I had between the only man I’ve ever really loved. They hate me now.
And soon their family, along with my own, will hate me too.
As I approach the steps leading up to the Philips’ house, I ball my fists so the shakiness of my hands won’t show. I know what I have to do, but I’m not sure if I have the strength to do it. Not alone.
But the fact is that there is no one beside me anymore. And as I swallow past the lump in my throat, I can’t help but think that it’s what I deserve.
The door opens quickly after I knock, and the smiling Anne appears.
“Liza! What a wonderful surprise! I didn’t expect to see you.”
Her gaze sweeps over the obviously empty space behind me.
“The twins are not with you?”
The pain in my heart is nearly unbearable, but I push it aside the best I can.
“No… It’s just me.”
“There’s… something I have to tell you.”
“Oh. Well, come on in.” Anne smiles and steps aside to let me slip past her.
She leads me to the living room and plants me on the soft cushions of the couch, before taking a seat next to her husband. Robert looks delighted to see me. It makes what I’m about to say even worse.
“Mr. and Mrs. Philips, I-”
Anne interrupts. “Please, Liza, none of that Mr. and Mrs. nonsense. You’re family.”
Oh God. Feeling the tears threaten, I have to swallow several times before I can continue.
“That’s just it. I- I’m not.”
Robert’s eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean?”
The words feel like poison on my tongue.
“I’m so, so sorry.”
“But it was all a lie. I’m a liar.”

As soon as the door closes behind me when I leave the house, my whole body starts to shake, unable to contain my feelings any longer.
As hard as it was to keep up the lie… Telling the truth is a million times worse. The shock and disappointment on Anne and Robert’s faces felt like a stab. I’ve never felt so guilty in my life.
Except a moment later, when they told me that they understood.
“Well… We wish you would have told us, but we understand. You did what you thought was best for our Brandi, and for that, we forgive you.” (Robert)
“We know you love both our children. You always have. You’ll always be a part of this family, no matter what.” (Anne)
“Just… Talk it out with Case and Brandi, alright?” (Robert)
It’s funny how the acceptance just made it all worse. I had expected to be shut out as I deserved, but instead I’d gotten compassion. And it’s so much harder to handle.
Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them dry before taking a deep breath. I still have a few stops to make… I have to keep myself together. I can’t break down yet.
Gathering every last bit of my strength, I head home.

A few hours later, I curl up into a ball on my bed, pulling the blanket over my whole body. Feeling raw and bruised, I close my eyes under the warm weight of the blanket, and gather my strength.
The way my family reacted caught me by surprise. Well, Jackie already knew, but I didn’t expect Rome and my parents to accept my lies so easily. They just told me that all they’ll always love me, and that all they want for me is to be happy.
A tear squeezes out from the corner of my eye.
Happy? Is that something I can be? Is that something I deserve?
I think back to how happy I was to come back home. How right it felt to be here. How I never wanted to leave Case’s arms… Even without noticing, I had started to hope I could stay.
But now that’s all gone. There’s no way I could stay here now. Bumping into Case on the street would kill me. Knowing that he was in the same city, resenting me for hurting him and his sister… It would eat me alive.
Blinking tears from my eyes, I dig up my phone and after a few clicks, I’ve secured my escape.
It’s time for me to disappear.
But not before I make one last stop.

I bite my lip, my hand freezing in midair before making contact with the door. I can’t hear anything from the other side.
What if Case is home? My heart rolls slowly over as I think about the possibility.
I can’t… I can’t face him. Not after all that happened. I can’t see his beautiful green hazel eyes full of hate towards me.
My hand drops, but before I can withdraw from the door, it opens.
“Holy shit!” (Brandi)
“You scared the living crap out of me.”
The guilt over seeing Brandi’s red-rimmed eyes overpowers the surprise of seeing her, and I feel my own eyes burn.
“I- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Brand. I’m sorry.”
As I keep stuttering and repeating my apologies, Brandi seems to realize that I’m not only saying sorry for scaring her. She sighs.
“Come in.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. Just come in.”
I shut my mouth with a snap and carefully follow her inside, craning my neck to look around the apartment.
“Case is not here.”
“O-oh.”
There’s a short silence.
“Brand… I’m so sorry.”
“I know. I heard you the first billion times.”
But her sarcasm soon drops and she sighs again. “I sure know how to pick ‘em, right?”
“April never deserved you.”
“Oh, I know. At least after today, I do.”
I swallow past the tears lodged in my throat.
“I never deserved you either.”
Brandi gives me a glare. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I- I messed everything up. I’m the one who started this. I’m the one who hurt you.”
She shakes her head and grabs my shoulders, digging her fingers into them.
“Bullshit. April is the one who started this. And I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
“No- that’s not-”
Brandi interrupts, visibly annoyed.
“My best friend, who had never lied a day in her life, decided to lie to protect me. I’d say that makes her pretty damn special.”
A sob escapes my lips.
“You don’t hate me?” 
“Of course I don’t hate you, idiot. You’re my best friend.”
She lets go of my shoulders and hugs me tight, forcing more tears out of my eyes. 
“I love you, Brand. I’m sorry.”
“I love you too. And it’s okay I had my part in the lie too.”
“Tell Case I’m sorry.”
“Tell him yourself. He’ll forgive you, just give him time. He was just overwhelmed and frustrated rightfully so”
My chest squeezes painfully.
“There’s no more time. I’m going back to NY tomorrow.”
Brandi’s body goes rigid, and she pulls away from the hug.
“Liza, no. As your best friend, I’m telling you, you belong here.”
I shake my head before wiping my tears away with my sleeve.
“After all the lies I’ve told just by coming back here… I don’t even recognize myself anymore. It’s best if I leave.”
Brandi looks furious for a moment, but after she examines my face, her shoulders slump a little.
“Fine… if that will make you happy, Liz. You know I only want you to be happy.”
Going back to NY won’t make me happy, but that’s not what I tell my best friend.
“Thank you, Brand. I’m so grateful to you for everything.”
She shrugs before a small smile appears to her lips.
“Don’t be. It’s what friends are for, right?”
“Just let me know anytime if you need a fake girlfriend back in NY. I’ll fly right over.”
I manage to let out a weak laugh.
“Thanks. But I think I’ve had enough of that for a lifetime.”
….
I close the door and sigh before kicking off my shoes from my aching feet. The apartment that greets me feels empty and sad as I walk through it to the closet to discard my work clothes.
It’s been a few weeks since I flew back to NYC, and I’ve been trying to adjust. Going back to work - to this life - has been odd. Like trying to fit into clothes I’ve grown out of.
It feels uncomfortable. At work, I’m able to push the thoughts aside, but as soon as I get home… I just miss everything. I miss having my family around me. I miss joking around with Brandi.
And most of all… I miss Case so much that I can’t breathe.
My eyes burn as I search through my closet for clothes to wear, finally pulling out simple leggings. As I search for a shirt, the jewelry box I stashed in between the layers of clothes falls out.
My heart squeezes as I pick it up, unable to resist opening it. The emeralds shine at me through my tears.
Case’s gift… I couldn’t keep wearing it after what happened, so I hid it inside the closet. The reminder of his love is painful, but for some reason, I can’t put it back inside the closet. Instead, I snap the box shut and toss it on the bed behind me.
I pull a knitted sweater over my head and head to the freezer, desperate to drown my sorrows in a pint of ice cream, when there’s a knock at the door.
I shrug it off at first, thinking that someone has the wrong address, but as it repeats, I close the freezer.
Frowning, I make my way to the door.
“Who is it?”
No answer.
I hesitate, but whoever it is, seems insistant, as they knock again.
Sighing, I reach for the handle and pull the door open, and…
All the air escapes from my lungs. 
“Case?”