The Golden Boy ⚣

03-math class

Chapter 3

Math Class

XOXOXOXOXOX

I spend almost 90 percent of my time on my bed, but don't get even 5 hours of sleep.

I know my mom's getting worried, so I pushed myself to take Mika to the movies yesterday. It was such an effort, it almost felt like I ran a complete marathon. But Mika's satisfied, and isn't pulling a face anymore, so I guess it's for the good after all.

But for some reason, I find that doing even the littlest of things drags a huge amount of energy from me. I don't bother to go down for meals anymore, telling my mother that I'm not really hungry, or that I've already eaten something beforehand. I know I can't continue like this, but even the smell of food makes me gag. Going to the bathroom? It feels like I'm running a 100 metre sprint. 

I don't know why my body feels like it's fresh out of a trash compacter, and the worst part is even though I am perpetually tired, I can't, for the life of me, get a wink of sleep. I may as well be dead.

But today, I know I need to pull myself together, because it's Monday and I have school. 

Yay.

Right now it's 6:30 in the morning. I usually wake up at 6, go for a run, take a shower and head down for breakfast by 7:30.

Guess I'm skipping my run today.

I hear mum's footsteps echo as she goes downstairs to prepare breakfast, and take it as my cue to get up. Pushing myself off the mattress, I hiss as the cold air of the morning hit my bare arms and feet as I slide out of my comforter. I always keep the window shut, and even draw the curtains. I have no idea why it's so cold.

Keeping the comforter wrapped around my shoulders, I slowly pad over to my bathroom. I can hear Mika shuffling around in his room, which is right next to mine. Rubbing my arm, I enter the thankfully warm bathroom and stand in front of the sink.

I wince at my appearance, letting the comforter fall to the ground. I have terrible eye bags, which is strange because can you even get eye bags over the course of two days? My cheeks are flushed, it looks like I have a terrible fever. My usually vibrant and bouncy blonde hair is dead and spangly, dropping into my eyes like dead fish. My pyjamas hang off my frame like a rag. Is it possible to lose weight this fast? I don't think so, but I can kind of see my ribs so I guess I'm wrong.

Peeling off the sweaty clothes from my body fully, I stand in front of the vanity only in my boxers and grab the toothbrush. Squeezing toothpaste onto the bristles, I stick the brush into my mouth and brush my teeth. My hands move slowly, lethargically. I can't bring myself to go faster.

I have soccer practice after school today. I need to think of a good excuse to ditch, because the bruises have still not gone and I don't think I can emotionally handle stripping down in a closed room with a bunch of big, burly dudes. The last thing I need is a breakdown while being half naked in a boy's locker room.

After brushing, I remove my boxers and take a long, hot shower. I need to get all the dirt and grime out of my hair, and scrape off all the dried sweat from my body. I think I took almost 12 baths over the course of 2 days, but I somehow always manage to get dirty again. Figures, since I'm nothing but a violated piece of trash.

I freeze when the lights flicker above me. Something moves in my peripheral vision and I gasp, jerking so hard that I slip and bash into the wet wall.

Calm down, idiot. It's just your shadow.

Forcing my breathing back to normal, I rub my left bicep as I right myself, standing back up straight and turning into the shower. 

I need to stop getting scared by little things. Soon, people will start noticing.