Supernatural One Shots (Taking Requests)

Overdose

Trigger warning!

You closed the door to the bathroom with a sigh, then locked it. You hated doing this, but you knew how the boys would react if they ever found out.

You rolled up your sleeves, revealing the scars you knew all too well. From behind the mirror you found your razor blade. You brought it to your skin, but stopped.

You looked in the mirror and hated what you saw. You thought you were ugly, but Dean would beg to differ, although you didn't know that. You thought you were fat, but your flat stomach said otherwise. You thought you were useless, but the brothers and Cas would argue with that since you had saved their lives multiple times. Even though all these things were untrue, those were your thoughts.

You dragged the razor across your skin multiple times and felt that familiar feeling of peace.

Your thoughts wandered and settled upon the most recent hunt, vampires. A group of them had taken you, and Sam and Dean, once again, had to come rescue you. You couldn't do anything right. The Winchesters would probably be better off without you.

Without noticing, your cuts got deeper, and more aggressive. Your hand had started to shake, and only did you notice when tears started to cloud your vision.

You threw the bloody razor blade in the sink out of frustration. Then you did what you had done multiple times. You pulled out the bottle of sleeping pills and took out a handful. You stared at them for what seemed like an eternity. Then you made up your mind.

You filled a glass with water and put the pills in your mouth. Then you drank the water to wash the pills down. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for the pills to kick in.

It didn't take long. You felt drowsy and your eyelids got heavy. Then the world went black.

*********

"She's been in there for quite a while. Longer than normal," Dean thought aloud.

Sam opened two beers and handed one to Dean. "Yeah. I hope she's not sick."

"Yeah." Dean got up and went to the bathroom door. He knocked a couple times. "(Y/N)?"

No answer.

Dean tried the door handle. "It's locked. Dammit (Y/N)."

Dean stood back and then kicked the door in. "(Y/N), what's taking so long?"

He was about to say something else, but he stopped. He was frozen. He stared at your limp figure that was sprawled on the floor. Dean immediately ran to you and felt for a pulse. Relived when he found one, he noticed the bottle of pills and the razor. Dean had never dealt with this sort of thing before. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to try and fix it, only to make things worse. So he did the only thing he knew was right. "Sam! Call for an ambulance!"

*********

You woke up to the sounds of beeping and bright lights.

"Thank god you're ok."

You turned your head slowly to see Dean sitting next to you. His eyes were red like he had been crying.

"Why would you do that, (Y/N)? It's enough that you felt the need to cut yourself, but suicide? Why?"

You were lost for words. You adverted your gaze from Dean's. You focused on your arms and how they were now bandaged. "I felt unwanted," was the only thing that came out of your mouth.

"How could you possibly feel unwanted? Sam and I treat you like family. We love you (Y/N)." Dean reached out and grabbed your hand. He squeezed it slightly in a reassuring way. "Promise me you will never do anything like this again. And that you'll tell us if you ever feel this way."

You nodded slowly. "I promise."

A tear slid down Dean's cheek. He leaned over and planted a kiss on your forehead.

You muttered one more time. "I promise."