KINTSUGI ⊳jin sakai x yuna

しち (seven)

Quick warning: there will be mentions of and also an attempted suicide in this chapter.

He wakes up angry, with a scream that catches in his throat and ends up being nothing more than a sharp exhale. It's better that way. Yuna doesn't deserve to be suffering of sleeplessness just because he is.

The moon is high in the sky, brighter than usual. It has barely changed positions from where it seemed to be before Jin fell asleep, which makes him sigh with exasperation.

Rest has been scarce for him the past few days. Him and Yuna still haven't gone fishing, mainly because he's still slightly wobbly on his feet, and she wants to avoid exerting him. Their sack of rice is running out, too, but it's an issue neither of them has addressed yet. And, if he's being honest, a break from being forced to eat every day wouldn't bother him.

He decides quickly, impulsively, as his uncle would scold him, that he needs to get out. Now.

He's looked at these same four shabby walls for about ten days straight. A change of scenery is needed, or he's going to start feeling like he's suffocating.

Yuna is a light sleeper, but she has gotten used to him tossing and turning every the night. That gives Jin some much needed advantage when he stands up, relying on his healthy leg when the injured one starts to hurt. While not as nimble on his feet as before, he doesn't need to use the walls to lean on when he walks anymore.

He also thanks himself for taking out his katana from below the creaking floorboard the day before. Now he only has to pick it up from beside the entrance, instead of having to risk waking Yuna up. He didn't take out the tanto from under the floorboard, though. He doesn't know why, but he couldn't bare to look at it. He's not worried; in the unlikely event that he gets attacked, just his katana will suffice.

Kage snorts with surprise when Jin pats his neck to wake him up, but moves to stand without making a ruckus. He grabs his reins, then guides him out of the glade.

Jin doesn't dare trying to climb into the saddle just yet. If he were to fall, he would risk making too much noise.

He only stops when the Mamushi farmstead is in sight. His leg is pulsing, but at least not hurting.

With careful hands, he grips the saddle horn, steps on the stirrup with his left foot first (something he rarely did before), and, with much less grace than usual, somehow climbs on top of his horse.

Kage starts trotting, and Jin does nothing to correct his direction. He doesn't care where his horse will take him, he just needs to clear his head.

He can't remember the context of what he dreamt, other than the sting of a slap on his face. And his uncle, looking at him with an unreadable, somehow disgusted expression.

It doesn't take hours of meditation to figure out what his subconscious was trying to remind him of.

If his trust for Shimura had been a stone, that moment would have caused the first big fissure out of many small ones. Before that, part of him had still hoped his uncle would understand the lengths he was willing to go for the people on this island. Maybe not join him, but at least let him do what needs to be done. Jin would have never forced his uncle's hand. Just looking away would've been enough.

How naive he was, back then, to think Shimura would be willing to bend the code. For him. How stupid.

And how stupid, how utterly stupid Shimura was, for not even trying to do so, or at least understand.

What put honor so highly above the lives of their own people? What put it so highly above Jin?

Did the code matter so much more than the child Shimura had raised? Did honor matter more than what he considered his son?