KINTSUGI ⊳jin sakai x yuna

じゅう (ten)

The sky has been wrung out of what rain it had to offer, but the clouds persist even at the crack of dawn after the stormy night. The air is humid and smells of petrichor; both the mud and grass squelch below his sandals at every step. Jin has a persisting headache, which most likely stems from the unsavory weather as well.

In spite of that, he'd still much rather have clouds above him than a scorching July sun.

"Something wrong?" Yuna asks as she swings herself onto Hotaru's saddle.

"No," he says, "I'm just trying to remember if we forgot anything."

Her horse stars moving, and trots up to him. "Not like there was much to take."

Jin strokes Kage's mane thoughtfully, then readjusts the bag he and Yuna had improvised  a few hours ago. It's made out of a bigger piece of fabric and some well-placed knots, but it does its job just fine. In spite of her protests, he insisted to carry it himself, though there was little weight to speak of. All that they have taken is the small wooden bowl, what remains of the bandages and honey, their two rolled up mats, and the sack of rice, which now contains a volume of rice about as big as two of Jin's fists placed beside each-other.

The pot is too big and heavy to carry, his katana is strapped to his waist, he is already wearing his only change of clothing — that has to be all.

No, he suddenly remembers, his tanto still was—

"You almost forgot this under the floorboard."

Fingers wrapped around the sheath and grip pointed towards him, Yuna holds out the Sakai blade.

"Ah." Jin mentally scolds himself for being this negligent with one of his most prized possessions. Since when has he gotten this sloppy? "Thank you."

Yet, as he grips the tanto and straps it to his waist along with his katana, a feeling of dread worms itself into the pit of his stomach. He remembers. Remembers the way it felt to slide that blade out of his uncle's torso, the warm blood against his hands, the last stuttering breath Lord Shimura exhaled before he sagged against him.

It's so vivid that he feels like it's happening in that very moment.

His hands feel dirty, and his gut feels like it's rising into his throat.

"...and I was thinking that, after we go fishing for breakfast, we should try to make it to Kin by nightfall. Or at least close to Kamiagata." Yuna's already a few meters away, making her way through the forest before she tugs on Hotaru's reins, stopping in her tracks. "Jin?"

"Sorry." He speaks up, then squeezes his calves around Kage. With a huff, the horse begins walking forward, and he catches up to her within seconds. "Let's go."

Shivers run down his spine for no apparent reason as he guides his horse through the trees, following Yuna. After a minute or two, his heart stops thumping against his sternum (something Jin hadn't even noticed until it had calmed down), and his breaths become rhythmic again.

Part of him is angry at himself, for getting so worked up over something so minor, so familiar. His own tanto, really? What's next? His bow? His katana?

Only the trotting of hooves against mud and rustling of leaves can be heard until they make it out of the forest.

"Where did you say we could go fishing?" Jin asks in an attempt to make up for the fact that he had been too caught up to pay attention to her words.

"The hissing creak crossing is a good spot," Yuna says. "And it's north from here, so it's on our way to Jogaku too."

"Good thinking."

It's strange to be out in the open again. As much as he is confident in the Sakai steel and his own two hands, he still feels unusually vulnerable now.

Should he cover his face? Will people recognize him, and hunt him down? Turn him in? Notify the samurai?

Will he ever be able to show his face in a village again? Even if a lot of people put their faith in him and respect him, how will he be able to tell them apart from the ones that don't? Is there a bounty on his head? If so, how big? How convincing? How tempting?

In spite of his hyperactive brain, Jin does his best to stay alert. While the open field does make him feel vulnerable, it also contradictorily provides a sense of safety. If there were some harm coming their way, they'd be the first to see it.

"There'll be a small village up ahead." Yuna says, turning to look at him over her shoulder. She gives Hotaru's reins a soft tug towards the riverbank on their right.

"Best not get too close." Jin follows her direction. "Will that spot work?"

Yuna nods her head. "You can start setting up a fire here while I try to catch something."

—

Fishing seems to be a quick affair, unlike what Jin has heard. Yuna returns with two fish just when the flames of the fire begin to settle, which makes for optimal heat.

They finish eating about the time the sky starts to turn blue after the dark grey sunrise.

They spend their journey in silence, mostly, with occasional bursts of conversation; usually observations either he or Yuna make regarding the weather, tracks they see on the road, or animals.

The Kushi Grasslands, which would have usually been a delight to look at now only serve as a reminder. A reminder of the lack of control over his emotions, and of his weakness. Jim doesn't dare look down at his own two hands, but he becomes hyper aware of the cuts on his palms.

Above all, he's feeling guilty. Guilty that he even considered it.

What would Yuna's face have looked like, if she would have found him on the ground, white pampas grass soaked with bloody red around him, katana driven through his guts?

"I don't think I could ever get enough of looking at a pampas grass field." Yuna speaks up beside him, both their horses moving at a leisurely trot.

"It's peaceful." Jin agrees. There's nothing more he can think of to describe his surroundings without lying, and he doesn't want to lie to her. Not when she's smiling like that. And especially not when she spurs on Hotaru, pollen whirling up around her as her horse starts to gallop, and she leans in the saddle to dip her hand amongst the sea of white.

That is peaceful, in its' own, comforting way. He would never forgive himself if he ruined that view.

Blinking, Jin realizes one corner of his mouth has perked up as he was watching her. Deciding that it would be wise not to keep Yuna waiting, he whips Kage's reins, following her trail.

—

By the time they pass fort Koyasan, the sun has already passed its highest point.

At first, neither of them dare speaking about the obvious. About what had happened at fort Koyasan, only mere weeks ago.

Jin doesn't want to be the one to bring Taka's death up, though he can tell Yuna is starting to get lost in her thoughts.

She's been there for him, countless times. If there is a moment when he can repay her, and be there for her in return, that moment is now.

"I know a place where we can spend the night. It's in Kin."

Yuna's glance, only seconds ago staring off into the distance, now moves to rest on him. "Do you have a friend there?"

"More of an acquaintance." Jin clarifies. "I helped him a while ago."

"You think he's trustworthy enough?" She pauses for a second, then asks a more vital question. "And willing to help two fugitives?"

"That won't matter. He's dead."

"Oh."