She was a Mirage.

PART 4- Beginnings...

I listened to her speak as if the language she was speaking was foreign. I was never informed of the fact that someone who I considered as my sister not only had a blog but people were showing her appreciation and loving what she did. I did end up questioning all of this and she replied with the warmest smile on her face as if she were talking about her child.

"The name is: A Sweven, it is a website where I post my writings and thoughts and where others can do so as well. There are chat rooms for people to talk to each other or in groups. They can also message me and so far I have only gotten praises and good wishes from others kind of like me"

Of course I went and subscribed after that. I could see people venting their emotions and others comforting them and so much more. I was used to reading her pieces as they were written but there were so many more I had no idea she had worked on and others were using them to feel happy and pick themselves up from the down moments of their life. To find the light of a candle in their dark times. She understood them. They understood each other. It was like a community all on its own and she hadn't even tried to advertise it. She only did it to put her art up and now there were people from all around the world who were healing and learning from her words.

I used to always imagine her like that. Listening, helping, guiding, I was used to the guidance and help from Ayesha and now I could see why people often told her to pursue therapy or psychiatry, it was those who she had helped just by talking to them. She always possessed the charms of being able to attract people or was it the fact that she understood them better than they understood themselves, I know not. She told them things that they needed to hear not what they wanted to hear. But she never lied or hid the truth or fake praised people. But the way she corrected them was gentle and hence no one ever saw her actions negatively.

A few weeks after our 12th results were announced among the chaos of her older sister, Maha's wedding; she received the acceptance letter to Brooklyn University. Her family celebrated twice as hard that day.
This was around the same time that my father decided to inform my family and I that we were going to have to shift to New York for his job. So it was decided that I was going to accompany my best friend into the next chapter of our journey. Finally reunited after years of waiting. I still wonder if I had returned to Jeddah in 11th, if our story would have been similar. If we would have still remained as close as we did and if distanced actually strengthened our friendship instead of weakening it.

That summer I stayed at her house for more than a month, not only attending the wedding and enjoying little sister pleasures along with Ayesha but also preparing to leave for university together. It was a Disney-show ftiendship story and we were living it. Another thing I was, am and will always be completely aware of was that she everybody's favorite but Ayesha's favorite person was her older brother,Maha's twin brother, Zaid Bhaiyya. They had always been the famous duo. Naughty but not notorious. The heart throbs of their family. Even with the 4 years between them Ayesha had always been closest to him and her mother. They were her comfort people, especially him. She never shared any of her deeper inner feelings with anyone not even those 2 but they were special because she couldn't conceal the dimness of her bright green eyes from them. They didn't need her telling them. He always knew when Ayesha was happy inside and when she'd rather be left alone even if she had agreed on plans.They were a team. He went to university to study and become an architect and yet nothing ever changed between them. So automatically he was the most emotional yet happiest on the day of our flight.
They had just done their fist bump when a moist eyed (Ayesha got the talent of hiding her feelinhs from her mom)
Saher aunty had pushed them to hug and eventually when they did listen to her, Zaid Bhaiyya didn't let go for ages. At this opportunity I couldn't miss it so as the to-be photography major I whipped out my camera and took a secret shot incase Ayesha saw and made me delete it. He finally let her go and we boarded the plane. After boarding the plane we both took solace in our own things and while I emptied my camera SD card I remembered the first time I had travelled without my family. It was with Ayesha....

*"It was the flight from Jeddah to India for Ayesha's cousin's wedding and my parents had entrusted me upon Ayesha's hands to take care of me, as I flew for the first time without my family. I was very scared but Ayesha who had travelled a couple of times alone prior to this trip looked as chill as ever.

I wasn't much of a cry-er either but when my parents waved at me from far, I felt my eyes tear up and possibly the first time Ayesha held my hand. Just like an older sister she helped me with everything even though I was well aware of all  processes but my nervousness had rendered me too scared to enjoy the trip. She made me calm down and helped me out at every step, bought us both snacks on the airport and of course her favorite cold coffee from Costa and spend more than 15 minutes at the Duty Free, making jokes about alcohol stalls at the Delhi Airport as we land. I still remember that day clear as day.
She kept checking in with me throughout the flight as well and looked after me. She did these things silently, like when she put her own luggage at the over head cabins,she wordlessly put mine as well, something I would have struggled with at my 5.4 height and she was at ease with her 5.10 height. She even ordered apple juice for me when the stewardess came to offer, without even needing to ask. I then relaxed because even I trusted Ayesha more than myself."*
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