She was a Mirage.

PART 7- Big Steps...

For a minute I couldn't think straight. Way too many thoughts clouded my mind. Wasn't I too young? Why so suddenly? but before I could venture too far I was brought back to reality but Ayesha's pat on my back.

This time my mom spoke, "You might think you're too young and other things, but islamically you're right age, also if you do agree, we will wait for you to get a little bit older before your Walima (reception) and just get done your Nikkah for now"

Ignoring the ringing in my ears, I tried to calmly ask them, but for some reason words refused to come out of my mouth, I was too nervous and confused to talk so I just looked at Ayesha, who had long abandoned her plate of rice and curry to comfort me. She understood what I was trying to ask and asked on my behalf, "When are they going to visit?"

"This Saturday."

That was it. I knew I wouldn't be able to function properly or normally for the next 2 days
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(2 days later....)

It was finally Saturday and I was losing my mind. Usually I was pretty chill or even annoyed when we had guests over but these weren't normal guests. These held a key to my future.

Ayesha came in early and made her famous Saturday pasta at my home, we watched the 1Direction movie together then she sat me down,

"Addy you need to listen to me. I can't tell you to calm down because I understand that's not possible but I want you to remain sane for the sake of you being able to assess things properly. Also I want you to remember not to rush anything and that you can't give a reply on the basis of first impressions."

After her pep talk she started picking out things for me to wear. Although I had fought strictly with my mom about not wanting to wear a dress for this visit, she insisted on something heavy and Ayesha and Bhabhi had to step in and give the idea of me wearing a Indian suit, so it wasn't exactly too casual but it still kept me comfortable.

So I sat there doing breathing exercises in my teal colored salwar (traditional clothes for women) and white Hijab while Ayesha sat on my study table and played Subway Surfers while listening to Atif Aslam's playlist.

We were waiting for the message from Bhabhi to Ayesha which would call me down.

After a few moments of deafening silence, I was ready to head down and but not even a little ready to witness who was sitting there.....

Never in my life would I have expected to see Ali and Hamza seated in front of me.

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Guessing from  Hamza's relaxed smile I realized it was the other who was supposedly my suitor.

Then I realized, that was probably why he had approached us earlier that week and behaved so coldly with me when I had no idea who he was.

The meeting went pretty calmly and I realized he already had my parents charmed with to his manners. Ayesha and Bhabhi looked skeptical since they were less oblivious to the tension between us. Waad was more on high alert as my brother.

That night I promised my parents to think about giving Ali a chance.

On returning to my room, I was pretty silent and Ayesha took it as a sign that I needed to talk a lot. So she came and quietly sat next to me with a bowl of butterscotch ice cream for me and chocolate for her ( which I had no idea that we even had in our house )and started eating after giving me a spoon.

 "Yeesha I don't know what to do. What if it's him and I reject him or if he isn't and I accept and both our lives are spoilt?"

I looked at her contemplating my words. She had this habit where she would take a few seconds before speaking to assess her words so when she spoke there were no uhms or breaks. Then she finally broke the silence,
"Addy, if this is meant to be it will be, even if you reject it now. It will happen on its own time however about the second part of your question, I think the best thing for you to do is Istikharah." Upon seeing my change in expressions she continued,"It might get a little a scary but whichever path Allah leads you to, it means that's what he has planned for you and you should just follow it blindly."
I took her advice and slept more peacefully that night after praying Istikharah only to dream that night the affirmation to the question that had bugged me all day.

The next morning I woke up and heard Ayesha playing around with Waad and his 4 yr old son Sulayman, who had returned from his maternal grandparents' house that morning. Sulayman loved Ayesha as much as he loved me and called her Sha Phuphi (father's sister) . I woke up and freshened up only to reach the happening breakfast table slower than a sloth.

"Assalam alaikum lovely sister" Waad teased me

"Eooosnjkkjsdjsdjnowdoondru" I replied

He looked towards Ayesha for help in understanding the w gibberish I had sprouted.

"She wished you Salam back and said that she'd like it if you stayed quiet." Ayesha translated.

"She probably told me to shut up but I appreciate the effort Sha." My brother replied with a pout.

Just then Bhabhi came in with a plate of something that made me pick my head up from the table just for the smell.

"Adaab mere Bache ( my child) how are you?" my mom started.

"I don't know why I am receiving this love but I'll take as much as I can" I replied while asking Ayesha for a glass of cranberry juice while she poured herself some mango.

Everyone chuckled and I grabbed a piece of egg and cheese sandwich that my mum made then Bhabhi spoke, "Adds the love is bribe for you to tell us what you think about Ali?"

As if almost instantly I woke up. I realized the dream I had gotten and the general happiness I was feeling and satisfaction that came with the peace of the morning would probably mean that I was ready for the marriage.

So I looked at all their expectant gazes except Ayesha and Sulayman who were busy planning their basketball match later on and finally spoke in a nervous tone,
"I am ready."
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