She was a Mirage.

PART 16- Dark Nights...

Next day after lunch when we were leaving for the airport, Zaid Bhaiyya came to bid farewell with food for our trip. Of course everyone told him it wasn't necessary especially considering the situation they were in but with a polite smile and a shrug he ended the conversation.
I was happy seeing him look better,maybe because he had released his tears finally or maybe he was trying to mask the sorrow for Ayesha, just as Hamza had decided to.
He still looked tired and his eyes still didn't hold the same glow but he appeared better and fresher than the day before.
When he got a few minutes away from the adults, he called me to the side and gave me a USB. I looked at him questioningly so he explained,
"I didn't want to make physical copies of her poetry, it just felt wrong so instead I made 2 digital copies. It still feels violating but I couldn't think of any other way of keeping them safe from disasters which may be out of my control.
One for me incase anything ever goes wrong and one for you."
I took the USB, turning to fight him that there was no need for that but the look on his face shut me up. He started talking again, after realizing that I wasn't going to retaliate,
"You can decide if you want Hamza to read them as well or not. I know Ayesha always held a soft spot for him since he was her first ever best friend and well you know the rest..."

I understood what he was trying to say and nodded in reply. After a few minutes if us silently cosoling each other, he left and we departed for the airport. This time around, my heart was much calmer yet I was still not at peace. Zaid Bhaiyya had allowed me to take the decision of sharing the contents of the USB with Hamza. I needed to really think if Ayesha would want that or not.
Apart from that I was also informed by Maha Appi after the dinner at their place that Ayesha's laptop and phone had been blowing up because of the long absence from her blog. Zaid Bhaiyya knew the password to her blog because she always used to say that even if she wouldn't be alive she wanted someone to take over the blog and continue her vision.

He said that the first thing he needed to do was inform the people waiting her arrival about of the loss of their beloved helper and advisor. This was something I understood was too hard for him to accomplish so I told him not to worry and that I would do the job.

I spent the entire flight back home absorbed in my thoughts.....

The next couple of days went by as we tried to go back to normal routine. I could tell everyone was trying very hard and they also understood that it would take more than just a while for me to bounce back the same. Ali kept going back and forth between spending time with Hamza and I but it seemed that Hamza only required quiet alone times because Ali would return from his visit pretty soon. He would usually be wearing a frown and lost in thought when he returned from Hamza's so one day I asked him what was on his mind

He replied, "I am worried that Hamza won't be able to bounce back from this."

I could hear the concern in his voice after all; Hamza was to him what Ayesha had been to me. Hamza had never left Ali's side even when he had gone astray.

"Ali none of us are going to be able to bounce back the same after what has happened."
He nodded when I stated the obvious.
"Hamza will take his time but he will be back as good as possible. All we can do is let him know that we are here for him."

That evening Ali decided that Hamza and I neededto go out so he dragged Hamza out of his house for a walk in the park opposite my house. It was a very happening park, and since we lived in a Muslim neighborhood, there were mostly Arab and Muslim families. There was a shop where an old man worked. He sold Shawarmas and ice creams.
The weird thing though was that he only did it to make others happy as all his children were working and had settled down and he received pension from the company he used to work at. His wife and he adored Ayesha and they were heartbroken when they heard about ehat had happened.
They wished us the best of luck and prayed to Allah to provide us with strength.
After taking our ice creams, we sat on the bench close by, that was overlooking the entire park. That was when I e-mailed Zaid Bhaiyya to forward Ayesha's blog password. We sat in comfortable silence for a while then I spoke up,

"Hamza I realize you're still very heartbroken, we all are but I want to tell you about something."

He pulled his gaze away from the children playing in front of us to give me a nod and I took that as an indication to continue.

I removed the USB from my pocket and handed it over to him. He looked unsure but took it anyways.
"When I talked to Zaid Bhaiyya, he informed me that there was a whole book filled with poetry that Ayesha kept away from the world, shielding it with all her life. They probably all pieces of art that she created in her lowest of times but didn't ever show the world in order to hide her pain.
He also told me that I could decide whether I should show these to you or not but I think you should get to see them. I also think there is one that might help you slightly overcome the pain."

He nodded once again, but this time I knew that it was because he was thinking of my motive behind sharing them with him. He stored the USB in the pocket of his jacket with a grip so harsh that his knuckled turned white. Then we relapsed into silence.
That's how we spend the evening watching the sun go back into its shell and letting the Moon brighten the dark sky...
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