She was a Mirage.

PART 11-Tears...

The next few days passed by without my consciousness. I couldn't even do normal things anymore without help.
In fact no one in my house could do anything in the way we used to. Every action seemed forced. Sulayman had picked up on the aura and had sobered down his massive energy. He often came and sat in my lap without saying anything and just rubbed my back and arms with his tiny palms. The action itself reminded me of when Ayesha had taught him to do that when someone was sad in front of him and didn't feel like speaking. Everytime this memory hit me, I looked up to the sky praying for her and often cried my heart out to the little boy in my arms.

I had given up on food and my brain could no longer comprehend many things for a while.
During these few days I had completely ignored all my friends' calls and messages.
Even Ali and Hamza who were used to the daily video calls with the 4 of us at least,were left to question the sudden disapearance on their own as I left my phone to die after receieving the worst news in all my years.
Even though they knew I could be careless and leave my messages un-read for a day and half maximum, things had gotten way out of hand. They left us alone for a while to come back on our own but once it got far too much for them, the end of their patience dragged them to my house one such day.

It was a day where I had barely gotten myself showered and forced myself to eat an apple but never finished it, just so I wouldn't collapse, the front door opened to reveal my terrified husband and his cousin. Ali frantically looked around and when he found me seated on the kitchen stool looking as broken as ever.
He realized something was wrong.

"Adaab why would you ghost me for so long?"

He whispered almost begging me to answer and give a logical reasoning. His black hair was still wet probably from a shower and he had bags under his eyes.

I couldn't speak. Words refuse to leave my mouth. I couldn't say it out loud. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Ali saw this and hugged me probably to transfer some energy into my soul,

"It's okay; let us know whenever you're ready"

That's when I looked at Hamza.
In the few months that I had known him, there were quite a few observations I made. Other things were informed to me by an ecstatic Ayesha who was always excited to reminisce about their time together as kids.
He was someone who I had never seen out of place, never untidy or messy; he shared that trait with Ayesha. Even in the mornings when he would be complaining about exams being too early in the morning, we used to tease him about always dressing and looking fresh and Ayesha would come to his rescue. He stood in front of me in his worst form ever. Hazel eyes looking almost black and drooping. He also sported dark bags under his eyes and was standing with his golden hair uncombed, hands tucked in the coat he had probably chucked on in hurry over his grey sweats.Ali saw me eyeing Hamza's form so he answered on his behalf,

"Hamza has been way too worried as well, I couldn't reach you and he couldn't reach Ayesha. When your mum called us over, he grabbed whatever he could and ran over in hopes of being able to get in touch with her."
That statement broke the trance I had been in for so long. My eyes started tearing up and my throat started closing up again. I felt the pain stab me in my chest again. I started sobbing again and the brothers looked at me in horror and worry etched on their faces.

"Adaab! What's wrong Hayati?"

I had always talked to Ayesha about her favorite nickname and she had always said Hayati because it meant "my life".

"Adaab speak! please tell us what happened." Hamza said

"Ali! Ayesha is gone! She left us."
I finally chocked out the words but as I uttered the words, I felt like my tongue was burning, I was still trying to gasp air into my lungs. There was a pin drop silence in the room. I could hear the beating of my heart in my ears.
I looked up. Hamza had fallen on the ground, sitting between our coffee table and the couch. Ali was in shock standing off to side, leaning on the wall. Then we heard faint sniffles and instantly Ali and I ran towards Hamza to  see his eyes red and  wet with tears. His cheeks showed the route that the tears had chosen and he was looking into the distance. I had barely ever seen Hamza sad so to see him crying shocked me to my core. We stayed quiet just the 3 of us on the floor crying or sniffling and trying to comfort each other. That's how the evening went for us as the sun decided to rest for the night.

That night at dinner, Waad informed us that he had booked tickets for the next day's flight.

While talking to Ali that night, I found out that they were coming as well along with Hamza's parents who were heartbroken as well.
I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. The memories and all her advice that she had ever given me kept replaying in my mind. For each person whom she had helped, I kept tearing up over and over again..
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