She was a Mirage.

PART 2- Distances...

Our friendship carried on. I fell deep into depression around grade 8 and she never left my side. The best part of her was that she was always there for everyone. Not only for me or other friends and family but everybody from strangers to people who hated her. She had been the shoulder to cry on for anyone who came to her or whose personal stuggles reached her through their eyes.
We would never have guessed that the reason she understood others and read people like they were yhick skinned nivels, was because not many could read her.

I always remember this one specific story;

Saher, a petite girl in our grade who had known Ayesha since they were toddlers but not in the nice way.For some reason she hated Ayesha and the latter never did anything about it. In fact whenever Saher tried something, Ayesha replied with her wits and used to give harmless comebacks which wouldn't even hurt a fly. Even when Saher used to be extremely mean and cross lines, and all of Ayesha's friends (including me and the rest of our grade) wanted to beat her up, Ayesha used to hold us back by saying,
"Hurt people hurt people."

At the time we were just trying to make her take her revenge but weeks later I realized that she had been right all along.

After our English class as I was searching for Ayesha to attend P.E with Saher's class I walked by a dark classroom that served the only purpose of storing old art pieces and decorations from school functions, only to hear the sound of someone wailing. Such sobbing noises that broke a part of my heart, hence I opened the door slightly ajar only to see Saher on the floor sobbing her heart out clutching tightly onto Ayesha who had her arms around her. None of them said anything other than the calming noises coming from Ayesha. I stood there almost too stunned to do anything. Once Saher was done Ayesha helped her up and I hid behind the corner. Soon they came and Saher went straight for the washroom after giving Ayesha a weak smile. I held my breath so as to not get caught by my best friend.

"Adaab come out. She's gone"

I sheepishly came out of the corner yet Ayesha didn't look at me.

"How did you know I was hiding?"

Ayesha chuckled slightly and replied "I am your best friend Addy"

Then the same somber look took over her face.

She wasn't smiling anymore but she wasn't frowning either. Her face was blank and that was terrifying me slightly. Most importantly her eyes were blank. They weren't shining. I was so used to Ayesha in her normal form that this form of her was rendering me speechless. Then I asked her what was bugging me all along,

"Ash why was she crying?"

"Addy it isn't my place to tell you but she is going through a rougher time than a most of us" 

"Why did she come to you? Didn't she find any of her friends?" I said feeling a bit agitated.

At this Ayesha turned to me with a soft smile but not the same one which usually brought a dimple on her left cheek. This one was sad.

"She came to the only person who actually knew her and knew that she wasn't a monster like others. Someone who didn't use her for her popularity or to safeguard themselves from her troubles. So she came to me"

"She has always troubled you and treated you poorly but now she came to you"

"Addy if people come to you to celebrate happiness it means they like you. But if someone comes to you in times of need it means they trust you. They know you won't turn your back on them. They know that you won't step back after seeing their vulnerable side."

We both walked to our class and Saher joined us soon. Ayesha didn't act like any exchange between them had taken place. Saher looked uneasy when her "friends" came to ask her about her and she kept glancing towards the one real person she knew there. While Ayesha was playing basket ball with a few of our friends she made eye contact with Saher and gave her a smile and Saher genuinely smiled back and joined in with the game which surprised many of us.
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There was time when I used to feel like crying during my depression hits or stayed awake due to my thoughts eating at me, Ayesha gave up her sleep with me. Next day she didn't complain about anything and just carried on with her day like everything was okay.

I used to always wonder how anyone could be so perfect. She was always happy and appropriately changed her moods when required. She gave the best advice along with her comforting hugs. After years I can still tell you how she smelled fresh like she just took a shower at all times with a hint of musk. She loved musky scents and hated the sweet flower smell.

A few days after Saher's incident, the news spread that her mother was fighting cancer. Everyone was painfully aware of Saher but nothing changed between her and Ayesha. She still insulted the later (although not so brutal) and Ayesha still laughed it off. But this time around even Saher used to sport a grin after their bickering.

After being friends with her for so long Ayesha had become a normal usual part of my life. I was regularly at her home because her mum made delicious food and was just as bright and cool like her daughter and because it had somehow become my 2nd home.

At the start of 9th grade, I found out that I was shifting to Canada.

My first instinct was to run to Ayesha's home, so I did just that. By the time I reached; Ayesha had already been informed. Since we were the closest of friends, I expected her to be sad or even cry even though I had never seen cry in our 4 years of friendship.
She was practicing some sort of dance choreography when I entered her home. I waited till the music died down and she sat in the corner of her gym area re-watching her practice video.

After completely being satisfied with the practice she came and sat next to me and offered one of her chocolate chip brownies to me. I took it but instead of eating it I sat toying with it and we sat in silence. Suddenly she spoke up,

"Addy that brownie is not going to change what's already happening" 

At this statement my head shot up only to see her calmly eating her own piece.

I asked her, "You already know?"

Once again with no change in her behavior she replied, "I do." With a slight nod.

I was left with nothing more to say. I asked her what herreaction meant and to that. She then said, "We have been friends for a little more than 4 years Addy. If we are meant to be friends then this slight distance is not separating us. But if we are not meant to be friends anymore then this is what is written and it shall happen."

I thought this answer meant that I wasn't as important to her as I had assumed so I kept quite. But as always she read my mind and face and continued,
"Don't get me wrong. Everybody knows how much your absence will trouble me and I will be sad and lonely for most part but if it's happening there must be a reason behind it. I see it as a test Addy. Hopefully we will pass this one. You are like a sister to me and no matter what I will always value you even if we do get separated."

I stared at her and saw that she was getting choked up and realizing that this is the closest I was ever going to get to see Ayesha crying I quickly hugged her only to let her go  when her mum came to call us for lunch.
Following that day we lived our days the way we always did and had all the fun until the day of my flight. That day when Ayesha came to me at the airport and quietly hugged me I knew whatever she had said was true.
She whispered to me "All the best Addy. Be strong and face whatever comes your way and know that whatever happens you can look back from your shoulder and you will always see me." Then she let me go and that was that. I shifted to Canada. But our bond never weakened.

We kept up our lame chats and weird conversations every day.
We had our fair share of fights, some even more serious than others.
She kept up her nagging of me not being physically active enough and I kept telling her that she is too active.
We found other groups of friends as well but as she had promised at the airport I always had her behind me or should I say, beside me for support whenever I needed her.
She never told me what happened between her and her friends or the battles she fought alone. Things she thought in silence. The deep conversations also never stopped. I had never figured from where she had learnt so much about people. How she was always on the journey if improving herself.
How she could read everyone so well and understand their emotions without them trying to explain them. She kept her smile up and remained the same to everyone. But just because someone appeared happy doesn't mean that they actually are. She never once let her inner self slip up. She wasn't perfect as others always called her out to be.

But she was okay with her imperfections and that is what made her special.
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