Justify His Murder

Preparation

   "And you're doing what?" My roommate followed me around as I walked to my room.

   "Don't worry about it, Reed." I tried to close my door in his face, but he slipped in anyway. I sighed and started filling my bag. He was going to realize my disappearance tonight at some point, so it didn't really matter.

   "What the- where did you get all of that stuff? Why do you need all of that stuff?" Reed poked around my bag and examined everything I put in.

    Reed could be annoying, but I also depended on him sometimes. He had taken me in as a roommate without much guarantee that I'd be able to make rent. And he helped me get the job I had now. So, I let him do a lot more to my stuff than I'd let anyone else do.

    "I'm going out tonight."

    "Uh, news flash, Morgan. Tonight's the Purge." He snapped at me like he was expecting me to wake up at the sound or something.

     I couldn't help but smile a bit, "I know that."

    He scoffed at the sight of guns in the bag. Reed knew what had happened to me before. It wasn't too hard for him to find out. Apparently, he stalks all of his friends on the Internet. And deep down, I'm sure he suspected what I was planning.

    "You're not going."

    "Reed, I adore you, but this isn't a discussion." I zipped the bag closed.

    He reopened and started taking stuff back out of the bag, "You're right. This is me forbidding you from going."

    "You can't forbid me from going anywhere." I snatched the bag away.

    "Right, who am I to tell you anything?" His eyes went over to the wall where I had pictures hung up. Most of them were of us. After all, I didn't have many other friends. Any trace of smile disappeared and I could tell he was worried now.

    "I didn't mean it like that. I just...I have to do this." I set the bag down on my dresser and went into my closet, looking for all black clothes.

    "It won't make you feel better, Morgan. Not really." Reed laid back on the bed and sighed.

    "It will. It has to be better than what I feel now."

    "Will it? Will you still be able to look at yourself in the mirror if you do this?"

     I stayed silent as I pulled out my clothes. He waited patiently, not looking at me. What if he was right? What if this made it worse? Maybe I'd feel guilty.

    I cleared my throat, "You're the last person I expected to judge me for this."

    "I'm not judging. I'm worrying. It gets bad out there." He sat back up.

   "You don't know what I've felt! You don't know what it's like! The memories, the feeling like-" I stopped, "I'm sorry. Look, I really am."

    Reed got up, "Right...sorry."

   "Reed..." I watched as he left the room. Slapping my forehead, I sighed. Why did I have to treat him like that? He was worried about my life. And if I was being honest with myself, I was worried too. I had never been out on Purge night before. I didn't even like watching the news coverage of it. What was it like out there?

    I laid on my bed, tightly holding my black jacket in my hands. The ceiling above me seemed to spin as I thought about the past. That was the problem. I couldn't stop thinking about the past. Vengeance seemed to be the only thing that kept me moving forward. My hatred was my fire. I needed to extinguish this pain so that I could learn to love again. Sitting up, I glanced at the pictures Reed had been looking at. There was only one of my family.