Justify His Murder

Attack

     I had already made it to the front step before Reed grabbed my shoulders. The front lawn was how I remembered it. I've been here more times than I'd like to admit. I've walked past over and over, hoping to spark some kind of healing, but it never worked. The gutter was filled with leaves and a bright red bouncy ball. My heart pounded. Did he have kids?

  "You can't just march in there. Are you crazy?" He whispered. Sienna peered into the front windows, but the burgundy curtains were drawn tight. The lights weren't on. I was focusing on something else I had just spotted. That white Nissan sat in his driveway. With the paw print stickers almost completely faded.

  Like a ghost, I drifted over. It all became too much. I half expected to see an echo of my past self crying in the backseat. It was exactly the same. My hand touched the glass of the window. I could never ride in a white car again. I was reminded of why I was doing this. He had stolen so much from me. I could never take a taxi, I could never go to a club, I could never walk home alone in the dark. But my spiral stopped. I felt Sienna's hand pull mine off of the glass and intertwine our fingers. Her skin felt so warm compared to mine.

  "Morgan. You're okay." She whispered. Softly, she kissed my forehead. I could've gone home then. I think I would've been content. I had seen the vehicle and the creator that were the instruments of my destruction. I could acknowledge that this had all happened and I had grown. The court's ruling hadn't erased what I knew to be true. But things never work out the way they're supposed to.

  Things always seem perfect until they aren't. I backed away from the car. The thought and the memories were too familiar. That was it. I was done.

  "Who the hell are you?" That voice. It had a tinge of a drawl. A trace of an accent that could've been from anywhere.

  "Reed." Sienna had turned first. I whirled around and a gasp got stuck in my throat. He had Reed by the neck, the barrel of a gun pressed against the hair Reed had spent an hour perfecting with gel and other miscellaneous hair products with the names I couldn't pronounce.

  "Let him go." When I first said it, it was almost silent. Barely anything, just like what I had said to him at the end of the night all of those years ago. But I remembered the girl that had walked home. That had gotten so lost, she had to use the GPS.

   "Let him go." I said louder. My voice still cracked, but it was an improvement.

    The man looked at me indifferently, "What do you three want here?"

    He didn't recognize me. Sienna held onto my hand tighter and Reed kept trying to shift away from the man's grasp.

   When he was met with silence, he reached an almost yelling volume, "My family is inside and if I don't get some answers, I'll start shooting."

   Family. He had a family. He had a child that had lost their bright red bouncy ball. He had a child that looked at him proudly as a father. He had a spouse. He had a house. He never faced any consequence for the monstrosities he had committed. I imagined all of the other girls that may have suffered the same fate or worse in the back of his stupid white Nissan.

  "You don't know me?" I found my voice again. The gun I had used was pressing against the back of my thigh. Sienna held my hand steady, willing me to be sensible here.

  "Who are you?" He yelled that time.

   "I'm the girl. I'm the girl that you looked at in court and lied about for a week. I'm the girl!" I yelled back, "Do you even remember my name?"

   He looked at me with unfeeling eyes. But his face flickered with something: hatred? guilt? I couldn't tell. Whatever it was, it made him let go of Reed. I held my hand out and Reed took it, standing with us. He was shaking slightly, but he held on tight.

   "Go." The man said, "Just go."

    "Say something! Give me something to forgive you!" I cried out.

   "What do you want me to say?"

   "Why?" I said quietly. Sienna took the gun I had been hiding behind my thigh in her hands. She hid it behind her back and my heart pounded.

   "I don't know." He turned. He was already unlocking the door to his house. Sienna was a really good shot. I wondered how. But at the moment when the bullet entered his lower left leg, it didn't seem like the right time to ask.

   "That's not a good enough answer. Try again." She stepped forward, holding the gun as she stared down the collapsed man who was exclaiming in pain. Reed and I gave each other a wide-eyed look. I had never, in a million years, imagined that it would be someone other than me to pull the trigger.

    "I'm sorry. Please!" The man's hands were wildly going around his leg, trying to stop the bleeding or magic it better or something.

    "Don't say it to me. Say it to her!" Sienna demanded.

    "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

   Sienna looked at me. Her beautiful blonde hair was frizzy, her blue eyes looked watery and tired. She held a question in her face. She wanted me to decide.

   "Let's go home." I nodded. Reed lingered behind a moment while we started walking. He spat some almost inaudible swearing at the writhing man then quickly caught up. And I took a deep breath. We had done what I intended to do. I could forgive. Not him, never him. I could forgive myself. I could accept that none of this was my fault, that he was just a stupid monster who couldn't actually care about anyone other than himself. I could move on. I waited until we were a ways away and we couldn't hear the man screaming for help anymore before stopping.

  "Thank you." I pulled them into me, hugging them as if they were the last two people in the world. They might as well have been.

  "No time to be sappy. Let's get home and watch a movie." Reed playfully pushed me away.

  "That was insane, huh? I can't believe I actually did that." Sienna tucked the gun back into the bag.

   "I knew you couldn't be that nice all the time." Reed laughed a bit. We laughed and kept walking for a little while more.

   Then I fell. I can't remember what anyone said. I remember Reed crouching over me, screaming and Sienna grabbing the gun, sending off wild bullets that I couldn't tell were missing or not. I remember pain searing through my body like a rocket burning. Then everything went black. Like I had fallen sleep.