love lies

HOPIA (Hoping)

I have been texting him for a week now, still no response from him. Im getting so worried, i havent heard anything from him since. Tried to call him but most of the time his phone is off.

Finally, nagring din ang phone nya but no one's picking up, so I decided to leave a voicemail instead, "Patrick, are you ok? what are you doing to me? Im about to go crazy! I miss you alot! Pag natanggap mo to tawagan mo ko ha? I love you babe."

This guy is actually driving me nuts, he always give me run arounds about what he's been up to. Isang araw itetext nya ako na parang walang bukas para ipaalam sa akin yung halaga ko sa buhay nya, pero pag katapos nun balik ulit sa dati, iiwan nya ako sa ere. Minsan iniisip ko kung ano ba talaga ako sa kanya, pero ganun yata talaga? If I want to have an awesome future with him, we need to take the consequence.

I sound stupid and desprate, last time I checked the Amber Reyes I know is tough, smart and clever. Is this really happening to me?

Sabi nila itigil ko na daw ilusyon ko, na imaginary boyfriend ko lang daw sya. Syempre hindi yun totoo no! Yeah it hurts alot whenever they say that because they are making me realize that it is not worth holding on. Pero alam ko kung anong meron kami, alam ko kung ano ako sa kanya at sya sa akin. I know its stupid but I dont wanna let go, I will still keep on believing that he needs to focus on his studies. Im positive na sooner or later magiging maayos din ang lahat.

*Flashback*

Lunch time. Kasabay ko si Patrick (boyfriend ko) sa canteen at umupo sa favorite spot namin, sa tabi ng bintana, maganda kasi view kaya cheesy lang.

"Amber, anong course kukunin mo pagkagraduate?" Patrick asked curiously.

"Di ko pa alam e. Si papa kasi nursing pinapakuha sa akin, in demand daw kasi. Pero kung ako tatanungin masscom gusto ko. You know, doing documentaries and stuff, cool di ba? E ikaw, what are you gonna take?" I replied.

"You said you want to marry a lawyer right? Im taking political science," he responded with a smirk.

I just looked at him for seconds and got stunned about what Ive heard, its still not sinking in. Teka. Sinabi nya bang magpopolsci sya dahil sa gusto nya ako mapangasawa? Is that what Ive heard? My heart beat rose like a raging bull and my hands are sweaty. (Pangarap ko kasi na abugado mapangasawa ko, ang astig kasi. Tipong ang sarap iyabang sa lahat ng trabaho nya.)

"Babe? Are you ok? Did I say something wrong?"

Its like he popped the bubble that I have created in my head when he spoke, "are you sure you're gonna do this? Once you take that course there'll be no way out! Aasahan ko nang tutuparin mo pangarap ko huh! You still have enough time to back out."

"But why? I am doing this for us, I wanna prove to you that I so love you. I will be an attorney because I want to fulfill your dreams and atleast have the confidence to be your hubby."

"Ang cheesy mo jan! Bumabanat ka pa, kotongan kita e hmp! I love you!" Tears started to run down my cheeks, as i embrase him. Feels like Im in heaven knowing that we are on the same page.

"By the way babe, Ive gotta tell you something", he released from my hug, "Sa UP Diliman ako magaaral. Oo medyo malayo dito sa Quezon, pero dont worry I'll keep you updated everyday, and I'll come home every weekend so we can spend some time together."

Syempre nalungkot ako, everything happened so sudden and Im not expecting na lalayo sya para magaral. We've never been away from each other and I know that this is gonna be so challenging for the both of us. But ofcourse, its challenge accepted!

"Uh, sige as if I have a choice e no? Nakakalungkot, but since this is for us I wont go against it," and I gave him a fake smile, I cant hide the fact that he'll be away from me and it drives me crazy, "but I need you to promise me that you'll behave ok? No parties that I dont know, no girls, and you need to keep me posted everyday!"

"Yes maam!"

*End of flashback*