Colours

blue

Losing you was blue.

Blue like the water I once was pushed into, when I couldn't swim. Like screaming, moving my arms as fast as I could to stay at the surface. Like trying to catch anything that could save me from drowning, but not finding anything. Like my feet dragging me down, like losing my energy to keep fighting.

Blue like the sky I kept looking at to find answers, to get a reply, from anyone. Like tears streaming down my face, voices in my head screaming at me, leaving me wondering where we went wrong, leaving me with tons of questions. Watching the clouds move places, when all I was able to do was sitting there, starring at the sky until it got dark. Like unheard whispers, incurable pain.

Blue like the LED lights of the club shining into my face at the toilet, the door squeaking as I walk in and fall onto my knees while I'm trying to catch my breath and stop my tears. Trying to process the fact that you were kissing her, trying to process the fact that you really found someone new.

Losing you was blue.