Smoke & Mirrors • Zarry

33. Jail

The remainder of that one day yoga retreat had altered some part of Zayn and gave him this renewed sense of self that he never had before. After the Ayurvedic massage Zayn had gone for a walk along the beach with Colton while Harry and Enzo went for swim with the other two girls who's names Zayn learned were Liv and Kendall. And as he strolled along the sand just enjoying the sunshine and the warm, summer breeze, Colton told Zayn about how much he looked up to Harry as a colleague in the industry. He explained that Harry had this certain amount of humility that was rare to find in LA, that he was a perfect example of a celebrity who didn't seem to care much about being one, someone who wasn't interested in using the word famous and refused to let the concept of being well-known get to his head. Zayn couldn't help but smile when he heard Colton speak so highly of Harry, and he thought back to when he once worried that LA would change him, that it would influence Harry into becoming some big, arrogant movie star and act like one, but that's not what happened and Zayn couldn't have been any more glad that he was wrong.

Zayn left that day feeling rejuvenated, like his mind was clear for the first time. The mental cage was gone, the metal box that his book was once locked in had been opened, and he was starting to embrace the idea of love, but not even the romantic kind. He realized that after 27 years of life he never once really learned how to love himself. Zayn knew what loving someone else felt like, but he either dedicated his all to someone or kept everyone at arm's length, like two very extreme ends of the spectrum and all this time Zayn never really figured out how to find that middle ground, that happy medium. So he turned on Amir's meditation guide on his phone and Zayn hooked it up to his car speaker, listening to him talk the whole drive back to Los Angeles and after that hour, Zayn learned that he was never really going to be able to love someone the right way until he was able to truly love and respect himself first. And from that moment forward Zayn decided that he was going to dedicate much more of his time to mental health.

A week went by and Zayn hadn't heard from Harry, but he stayed busy with work at Wild Lotus and it seemed as though the word was spreading around with help from both ad space and social media presence. And he was starting to feel so much more content with the way that his life was turning out, aside from the fact that he still didn't have Harry, but at least they were working on rebuilding a real friendship and for Zayn, that was going to have to be good enough. The shop was fifteen minutes from closing that Friday night the following week and Zayn was cashing out with Emily behind the counter while Taryn was cleaning up the place when his phone rang and he saw that Harry was calling him; Zayn felt himself smile instantly when he picked up the phone.

"Hey."

"What are you doing tonight?" Harry asked, sounding as if he was in a car driving somewhere while he spoke because he could hear highway noise in the background and the soft sounds of Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell drifting in the background.

"Um, don't know. Why?"

"You should meet me at Nowhere Lounge around 10," Harry responded.

"What's that?" Zayn questioned curiously.

"You'll find out when you come. I won't take no for an answer, by the way. See you later," Harry answered before hanging up the phone.

Turns out Nowhere Lounge was a very high end burlesque club. Zayn had taken an uber there instead of driving and he strolled in a little past 10 because he was usually late for things, and this time it was because he had changed his outfit a dozen times and got a hair cut. He had fun with the green for awhile, but Zayn was a man who changed his hair every three months because he got bored pretty easily, so Zayn dyed it back to his natural color, buzzed the sides and left the top a bit long and unkempt. He also had finally settled on wearing a pair of black suit pants and a silky, black button down top with pink floral roses on it, unbuttoned far enough to expose his large chest tattoo, and a semi-long black leather jacket paired with that same black onyx ring and one just like it but with a jade stone. He also sported the evil eye necklace that he became quite fond of as well as pair of round framed glasses, which he usually never wore, despite his failing eyesight but he was just feeling different that night, and wanted to go for a more distinguished, fashionable look. And he felt good.