Smoke & Mirrors • Zarry

39. Wishes

As Zayn stood there taking a good look in the mirror, every version of himself that he had ever seen came flashing back in that moment.

The introverted, shy little boy from Bradford who loved comic books and super heroes, reading and video games, one filled with sweet innocence and naivety and a world full of dreams that were still ahead.

The awkward teenager who started to see the world in not just black and white, but rather in colors that he never knew existed, who was beginning to question society and himself, who began to realize that he just may not be like everyone else.

The young man struck with puppy love that tried so hard to fit in, who did everything in his power to keep a relationship together that was never really made for him in the first place, but one that proved to himself that he was capable of love and loyalty.

The jaded, rebellious shadow of his former self who viewed life as strictly business or pleasure, who lived on the edge, who never cared whether he lived or died, who no longer believed in the promises of love, who ran away from every good thing that the universe tried to present him with.

And now Zayn stood there on the day of his wedding in his pearly, cream-colored Christian Louboutin blazer and white dress shirt, black slacks and patent leather Gucci shoes, his hair longer and side swept, just thinking about the man he had become now. A cornucopia of every version of himself that he ever was, but he had now grown into a man, a man who still loved super heroes and video games, who still saw the world screaming in colors, who still proved to himself that he was both loving and loyal, who still lived on the edge from time to time. But he was also a man of spirituality, a man of hope and peace, a man who practiced kindness, a man who learned that vulnerability made you stronger, a man that Zayn knew would not be here today if he had never met Harry Styles.

And today was the day Zayn was finally going to marry him.

"Why am I so fucking nervous? I wasn't bloody nervous this whole time until now," Zayn spoke out loud to Louis, his best man, in the dressing room of the wedding venue and Louis chuckled as he straightened out Zayn's lapels, offering him a grin.

"Relax, mate. You're just getting married, that's all. You know, making a huge life commitment to one person forever. And you have to talk about how much you love him in front of literally everyone you know. No big deal or anything," Louis replied in jest, teasing him as he usually did and Zayn rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Lou, thanks a lot," he responded sarcastically. "But I'm not going to be doing this in front of everyone," he pointed out, his tone dropping a bit sadly to which Louis sighed and draped an arm around his shoulder comfortingly.

"I'm sorry, Z. It's complete shit that they didn't bother to show up. But...you've got me, yeah? I know I can't replace your family but I still love ya, I've always been on your side."

"Don't you dare get sappy on me you wanker," Zayn said with a chuckle as he drew Lou in for a tight hug, feeling glad to have his best friend by his side on this important day.

"Hey, I've gotten soft ever since I became a dad, you know. You'll see what I mean one day."

And then the door opened slowly with a round and pretty face popping in, which belonged to Eleanor with her sparkling brown eyes, long silky chocolate brown hair and childlike smile and she knocked once politely before entering the room. From under her legs ran a small toddler with her brown hair in pigtails and white bows, a pink dress with frills and lace, a pacifier still in her mouth as she smiled and giggled, running straight for Zayn's legs and she reached her little arms out and hugged them tight.

"Unkie Zaynie!" she exclaimed and he smiled down at her, picking her up in his arms.

"Finley! Aren't you the prettiest flower girl I've ever seen?" Zayn said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and bopped in his arms playfully, pulling on his lapels as Eleanor gazed at them with a look of adoration.