|| HIDDEN AGENDA ||♡ {ON HIATUS}

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

~•~•~•~
'HEY, Taehyungie~'

'Oops. I don't think I'm supposed to call you that anymore. Anyway... how do I start this?'

'Guess what, I didn't actually plan to give you a letter but damn... here I am. Writing this letter.'

'Well, today, I cried a river. I even cried on my dad's shirt a few days ago. But that doesn't matter. The thing is, I wanted to give thid to you in person but you were pre-occupied and I... still can't face you. Not after what you did.'

'And about the engraving of the swiss knife, you can tell Mark about it, remove it or whatever. Your choice. We both know it was a mistake. I bought it a few weeks ago, remember the time of the convention where you bidden for me? Mark actually asked me to go to his mom's auction for jewelry and I saw this extremely rare knife and since I thought of you, I bought it.'

'I am a proud independent woman, as you know. I am different. I am very vocal about my feelings, I respect others and I love myself. But you... managed to break that. Little by little, from your way of using me, you broke me, making me feel disappointed for myself. I just feel so sorry for myself. My self-esteem has went from 100 to 0 real quick. And my confidence is hanging. Because I am not Kang Miyeon and you don't know that.'

'So it's best for me to leave the country, to avoid each other. You might be calling me selfish but Taehyung, I'm just trying to regain everything that's gone inside me. If I stay, I will lose myself.'

'But it's okay, I don't blame you.'

'The truth is, I forgive you. Yes, I'm still disappointed and angry but those emotions were not pointed at you. It's at me. I let you in my life, let you use me without knowing and I probably did hold the role of Miyeon in your life a few times. But even after what happened, I still can't get angry at you nor be disappointed.'

'Is it because my ordinary like turned into love? That is a big 'maybe'. I may be intelligent but I don't always hold the truth of my life. I'm even doubting if you're you or you're just a clone. Kidding.'

'Putting my life aside, I wanna tell you something about yours. Taehyung, I don't hold your happiness. It's in you. And your love for Miyeon and her memories---from what turned into a nightmare--- it's not healthy. You know what's wrong? It's because you chose to hold both hands.'

'It's okay, I understand. Sometimes, it's hard for us to let go and that's okay. But what's not okay is when you're trying to move on but you chose to use someone when you're still smitten to someone else. And I tell you, choose happiness.'

'Happiness is not something I can provide you, it's something you provide for yourself. Because as I have said, I don't hold your happiness. It's in you. You just have to find it... well, without using anyone, of course.'

'Everyone has their own way of moving on but I tell you this again, using someone to remove the pain is a big no-no. You have to move on. I'm not telling you to forget, I'm telling you to let go of her hand and accept that she's not coming back and that she's in a happy place now. I might not be in the right position to say this but you have to do that before you consider holding another person's hand.'

'I love you, Kim Taehyung'

Sincerly yours,
Jung Yerin :)