Hers

Old Journal

The sun came in through the window brightening up the bedroom. I could feel the warmth of it on my face.

"Good morning, darling." I opened my eyes Emerson laying beside me watching over me. "

I gently stretched my arms and legs. "Good morning ." I smiled.

"How did my darling sleep?" she caressed my face and gave me a nice peck on the lips.

"pretty good, thank you."

"Anyways, I'll make us some breakfast. I think I'll be staying home today." She winked. "I'll meet you downstairs in 15 minutes, darling."

"ok."

"ok what?" and a mischievous grin formed on Emerson's face

"Ok, Emerson."

"Good girl." she gave me another kiss before stepping out of the room. I could hear her steps getting quieter as she got farther.

I stretched out for a minute looking around the room. I had quickly spotted a half-open drawer. The curious cat inside me got ahold of me as I stood up and looked around for any trace of Emerson. I felt guilty once again looking through Emerson's stuff. But this time it wasn't in order to find anything, I was just snooping, right?

I quickly headed to the wooed dresser, the same dresser I had found the other substance in, and pulled out the top drawer. There was an old journal inside. One that looked like it was from her high school years.

Emerson 11th Grade 2012 was written on the front . Emerson probably won't mind. I thought to myself. After all it was just a highschool notebook. What was going to be in here... her highschool crush. I giggled to myself.

I opened it flipping through pages. It was mostly full of old drawings, cut out pictures of her and some other girls I guessed were her old classmates and a couple journal writings. She looked much different here. She had no tattoos and long hair. In one of the photos she was holding a soccer ball in the middle of a soccer field. I smiled to myself. Such a dork.

I flipped to a page that read Oct 16, 2012, on the top right corner.

I told them I wouldn't, but I had no choice. They threatened to hurt Emily if I didn't help.

"You owe us, Emerson," he growled. "You are either with us or against us. It is now your turn to return the favor."

I could feel the anger running through my veins as Devan yelled at me. I could feel his spit smack my face as he spoke. His face was red and his eyes almost popped out of his skull as he yelled.

"No, I can't. And you leave Emily out of this, you hear me." I shouted back. "She has nothing to do with this."

"your right so let's keep it that way." he grinned cornering me "you owe us and now you have to pay us back"

"No! I want out Devan. I can't do this." I pushed him off. "I have to stop. I'm not myself anymore. I can't go a whole day without it without going shit crazy or having withdrawal I need to get clean Devan. I need to get my life straight and I can't while working this job."

"Once you are in you can never get out Emerson, and you knew that... Now you being an addict, that your problem." He pointed his finger in my face. "I told you not to try it. Your dumbass wanted to, well now you have to figure that shit out on your own."

"You know why I tried it, Devan. And you let me."

"I was the one who helped you when you had no one. Now you either pay me back or Emily will be paying the price."

I flipped to the next page this one dated Oct 26, 2012.

They had shoved balloons of coke down my throat. I was forced to transport it through the damn airport. I was so scared. All I could think of was what would have happened if those balloons would have exploded inside of me or if I had gotten caught. The security had dogs and I swear they were so suspicious of my...

I heard Emerson's footsteps down the hall. I quickly closed up the notebook and shoved it back in the drawer.

"Darling, time for breakfast." she came over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist pulling me close.

"I love you, Emerson."

"Aww, I love you too, darling" she held my hand and starting guiding me out of the room. "Come on, I made us breakfast."